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Rachel's Daily Diary
1 36 am pst [ game ] This evening I set up a mailing list for this diary, and we shall see where that goes... I just though up a totally absurd game for myself, which I will probably engage in as soon as I have a more permanent home. I decided that I will wear every article of clothing I own, and every accessory, one after another, until I have gone through the whole lot. |
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Right now, my clothes are scattered between my mother's house, my father's house, my grandfather's apartment in New York (where I moved for three months after I graduated. There are a few items at Matthew's house in Berkeley, and his parents house in LA. Most of my favorite items are still in a suitcase, which I have been living out of for a month. [... a pause to pop some chocolate chips in the microwave to make strawberries and chocolate -- my favorite dessert...] I make good use of my clothes, but I have a small stash of jewelry and purses which I rarely don, so such an undertaking would help me determine which items I really value. There is something delicious about not growing anymore, and being able to set aside outfits and shoes for years, knowing you will still fit in them when you return to them. |
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And now I must make the dastardly confession that I have been living sans deoderant and sans bra for the past week or so; I haven't shaved my legs in months. I have no idea where this au natural urge has come from [mostly laziness, I would hazard], but if my beau doesn't complain, I find little motivation for change. Such practices certainly don't bother me... What does bother me is when Matthew doesn't shave his face for a few days, but it's not a looks thing. His stuble scratchs my face most unpleasantly. He is very good about removing it. He is much less proactive about shaving his head, but I don't mind when his hair gets long at all. It bugs him though. Matthew is much more into appearances than I am. I always tease him that he's the girl and I'm the guy in our relationship. I tease him because he is so fashionable, and I tease him because he takes so long to pack. I tease him a lot. I don't think I could stop if I wanted to. My family relates by teasing. I've had a lot of practice. |
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3 54 pm pst [ up late ] It was bizarre to hear the phone ring at 3 40 am, but Matthew knew I would be awake, and I had asked him to call and let me know when he got home. Old Gringo came on tv. I thought the movie would be wretched. The dramatic score that played with the credits was highly incongrous with what I envisioned a movie named "Old Gringo" would be like. Also, I tend to hate Jane Fonda's roles because she tends to play weak and un-worldly characters. But the movie sucked me in, and I stayed up until 5 am to watch it. I then crawled in bed to read my sci-fi anthology, and when I set down the book it was 7, and the sky was light. I still wasn't tired, but decided I should make attempts at sleep. It took less than an hour to drift into dream land. The phone woke me various times during the day, but I refused to feel obligated to answer it. I will not be ruled by a machine. |
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two years ago today: "I like the sweet smell of beer on his breath. The piquant odor makes me grin." * * * one year ago today: "Finding ourselves both bereft of plans for the evening, my father and I have decided to do the dinner and a movie thing. I'm not even sure what we are seeing..."* * * one month ago today: "So my crisis is that I feel down on my creative work (except my watercoloring, which seems to be florishing [which is why I bought expensive new paints and real brushes today]). But I plow ahead, making and making because I need to and I can't stop. I pile on project after project, because I have a hunger for activities to feed my brain. I am swimming in a feeling of satisfaction swirled with discomfort with my output." |
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"... but the seed never explains the flower." -- Edith Hamilton (1867-1963) "Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." -- Jesse Lair "The adoration of his heart had been to her only as the perfume of a wild flower, which she had carelessly crushed with her foot in passing." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882) "Live neither in the present nor the future, but in the eternal. The giant weed (of evil) cannot flower there; this blot upon existence is wiped out by the very atmosphere of eternal thought." -- H(elena) P(etrovna) Hahn Blavatsky (1831-1891) |
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"The discipline of the writer is to learn to be still and listen to what his subject has to tell him." "If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." "Beginnings are apt to be shadowy and so it is the beginnings of the great mother life, the sea." "Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts." -- Rachel Louise Carson (1907-1964) * * * < yesterday |
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