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Rachel's Daily Diary
11 47 pm pst [ bawling ] There was a discussion on one of my mailing lists about writing letters in journals. Someone said they wrote letters to dead people. Interesting idea. |
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I came up to my mother's house, and after setting up her new printer, I began flipping through the channels. I hit Beaches right at the scene when the mother died. The idea popped into my head that the surrogate mother should write letters to the [deceased] birth mother about her daughter's upbringing and growth. It ocurred to me to write a letter to my deceased grandmother. I began composing in my head. Dear Amah, I thought. |
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It is bizarre to not start this letter with the normal pleasantries of "How are you?" or "I hope this letter finds you in good health." And suddenly I was bawling. I could not go on. A profound sadness washed over me and it took a long time to weep it out. I don't know why I was so sad. I don't know what set it off or what prolonged it, but it lasted and lasted. I have not cried that long or hard in ages. I hope I don't again for a long time. It is very draining. |
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Someday I would like to write that letter. * * * I took a chance today, and called a total stranger whom I suspected was related to me. She was! She is my great-aunt (my mother's aunt) on the most bare tree in my genealogical collection. I was so excited. I told her that I was hoping she would be able to help me. She said, "That was so long ago and most of them are dead." She was referring to her siblings; I believe six or seven of the nine are deceased. How did I explain to her that this was the reason it was so imperative to collect this information now? |
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I doubt there will be any way to get this information when the rest of her generation dies. It will be lost to eternity. And I want to meet these people. This newest relative lives in California. * * * In 2003, the 1930 S census will be released. I can't even imagine the frenzy this will create amoungst genealogical researchers. There will be an intense and concentrated scramble for information. Of course, if it doesn't get indexed, it will be of little value to anyone. The census really needs to be computerized, as does voting. |
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two years ago today: "In class my teacher kept referring to ambient conditions. He talked about the atmospheric pressure at sea level in ambient conditions, but all I could picture was a dimly lit bar with plush seats and jazz music playing softly." * * * one month ago today: "I am so exhausted I can barely move."* * * < yesterday |
month | tomorrow > |