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_________________ Tuesday 8 February 2000
2 52 am pst [ five thousand ] Honestly, you have no idea how many pieces there were. I bought Matthew's mother a five thousand piece jig saw puzzle. The box reported it would be 62 x 42 inches. For reference, I am 64 inches tall. It was going to cover her entire dining room table and still hang dangerously over the edge. She treated me to an Italian dinner, and then we dug into the puzzle when we got home.
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Dinner included much discussion of her son, and she inadvertantly handed me the most delicious compliment. She was asking my how I felt about him when we first started dating. Matthew had told me that when were were first dating, he had called his best friend and said he didn't think he could make things work with me. He said I was so different from any other person he had ever met. I don't think he knew what to do. At dinner his mother said the same thing; he had called her and told I was so different. She asked how I was different. He told her he couldn't explain it, but he did say I so was close to being happy all the time.
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I am. I am close to being happy all the time -- dangerously close. And I love every minute of it. The evening was wonderful. And the monstrous puzzle that will surely take months to complete is wonderful. And I am wonderful. As we sat putting piece after piece together and not making a dent, I kept giggling. The puzzle surprised me again and again with its enormity. You have no idea how many pieces there were. I loved the challenge of it. I loved its enormity. I had to drag myself away at 1 30 am, after five and a half hours of work on it.
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I drove home smiling. I thought, I am joyous if this is as good as it gets. Life need never be better that this moment. This is enough. I am satisfied. I am ecstatic. I am filled with enough love for five thousand people and five thousand pieces. I am awed with how my pieces fit together. I know it sounds perhaps too cheery, but it is who I am, and it is what spilled forth from my heart this evening. I cannot wait to be in my man's arms on Thursday. I want my ecstacy to last until then, so I can wrap him in the embrace of my love. He is the love of my life.
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Talking about him with his mother (or mine) forces me to verbalize my feelings and thoughts. It causes me to recall years of memories and ideas. I like the challenge of trying to communicate what draws me to him. To any of our friends, we are an unlikely pair. No one would ever have put us together. But now that we are, we seem perfect for each other in everyone's eyes. They can all see how well we fit together.
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two years ago today: "I can feel the raw onions and garlic from my salsa doing a little dance in my tummy." * * * six months ago today: "I talked my mother into us leaving Thursday instead of Wednesday, since it ocurred to me than I am leaving in four days and I have not packed, nor finalized my thesis." * * * * * *
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