Thursday
10 February 2000
2 53 pm pst [ in the car ]
Yesterday was strange. I was overcome with a laziness that prevented me from packing or calling for a taxi until late at night. I couldn't sleep for fear that I wouldn't wake up on time. I fell asleep after tossing and turning for an hour and a half only to be awakened when my father left at six am. I gave up trying to go back to sleep, had steaming leftover pasta for breakfast, and stood in the doorway watching the drizzle and waiting for the taxi.
I think I somehow believed that if I rushed, I could will myself in his arms faster. I arrived at the airport an hour and a half before my flight. I was the second person to check in, and upon doing so I learned my flight was delayed. I have made Matthew late for class.
It took forever to get here, but finally we arrived. I finished another book. When I stepped of the plane, seeing Matthew was a shock. I had somehow forgotten how goodlooking he was -- how sexy I find him in his glasses. What a delight!
We both knew he wouldn't have time to drop me off at his home. He offered to take me to class. I offered to wait in the car. I think he was relieved. So now I have an hour or so to kill in his car. I sat for a while watching and listening to the rain pour down upon the winshield. It has let up now.
The current collab topic for Jaunt is to describe what each month means to you. I loved it, but when I got down to thinking about it, having grown up in LA means the months mean little to me besides the respective holidays which they contain. I cannot make the normal associations of weather and season with the dozen divisions we have in our year. December is my favorite -- Chanukah, Christmas, New Year's, winter break, and most importantly, my birthday. January is the time of resolutions which I have learned not to make. I prefer that people try to make a clean start of things, as long as they are not too hard on themselves when they eventually fail. February only conjurs Valentine's day for me. March and April make me think of some rhyme I learned when I was little about flowers and rain showers. My father's birthday is in April. May? Cinco de Mayo? No, May means the end of the school year is drawing near.
Yes, that is the crux of it all. I do not think in seasons; I think in semesters. June and July are summer break and August spells the start of a new year. In September you already wish you were done. October sees my mother's birthday. I remember her delight when I flew home one weekend for a surprise birthday dinner; I even called her from school in the morning so she'd have no idea she was coming home. November is Thanksgiving break. I define my months by the breaks they contain. And though I am not in school anymore, Matthew still is, so I still find myself thinking in semeters. Soon I will have to redefine my year. And just now, I find myself thinking in days. No need to carry the weight of the year, when you can just enjoy the now.
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I am a goodies person. I love to have goodies. Food is my goody of choice. You will rarely find me without a bag of cereal or nuts tucked away somewhere. And a book -- one should always have a book on hand. One of my favorite parts of having a boyfriend is having another person to surprise with goodies. I love giving small meaningful gifts to my friends, but knowing someone as well as I know Matthew means I can do a that much better job of spoling him. My carry-on bag today contained a small cheesecake and a bar of dark Godiva chocolate for him. I know he will be pleased when I present them to him.
He has just come out to the car to tell me that he will be in class for another hour; they won't be finishing as quickly as he thought they would. Tis ok. I am happy to sit sleepily in my little cacoon and watch the world pass by. I am in a watching mood.
10 03 pm pst [ in bed ]
I never finished explaining why yesterday was so strange. I got calls from two telemarketing women. The first said that her records indicated that someone in the household had purchased weight loss products and that their customers all indicated an interest in losing an additional 10-30 pounds. I couldn't help but think that their dietary supplements weren't very effective. "I am not interested in losing weight." I was sure this would throw her, but without missing a beat she said, "Are you interested in gaining weight or increasing energy?" I answered, "I am perfectly happy with my weight." She said, "Oh," and hung up.
The second time the phone rang I answered it, "Hello?" In a sugary voice a woman asked, "Can I speak to your mommy?" "My mother doesn't live here." "I'm sorry, you sounded young."
She asked me to participate in a survey. My mother has always had the best out for that, "I don't participate in surveys over the phone." My mother always offers to do them if they mail her something. I did not. The woman was polite enough to get off the phone quickly.
two years ago today: "They are educating me as to the fact that one does not get picked up on at Goth clubs."
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six months ago today: "I live my life to not regret anything. I believe that if you learn from an experience, then it is worthwhile to have, regardless of the fact that it may have been an unpleasant experience."
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