_________________ Friday 11 February 2000   10 19 pm pst   [ that game ] My boyfriend, one of his roommates, and I had dinner at Blake's. His roommate said, "It's been a long time since I've eaten somewhere where they play Metallica."

I have been composing an entry, about a game I used to play, for several days in my head. It suddenly occurred to me that it perfectly corresponds with this month's collab topic for On Display: influences. This was a game I used to play on our Apple. It lived on a five and a half inch floppy disk. I don't remember the name. It had minimal graphics and no sound effects, but that was the norm for games in those days. I had previously been addicted to a game called Taipei, in which one took a fleet of ships to different ports buying and selling goods. But one day my father dug up a new game and my brother and I immersed ourselves in it.

The game was a game of life. You began as a baby and proceeded until you died, of natural causes or otherwise. The game was structured like a choose-your-own-adventure book. You were presented with a scenario and then given a list of choices. Did you smoke cigarettes with the cool kids in high school? Did you accept a dinner date with your secretary even though you were married? Did you drink at a party even though you knew you would be driving home later? Did you try to learn to skateboard as a fourty-year-old? Actually, those are all guesses at dilemas the game might have contained. I only remember two of them.

The first event I remember, was quite possibly the first scenario you encountered when you began playing the game. You were a baby. You were hanging out in your crib. Your options were to do things like cry for food, take a nap, or explore the dark shape in front of you. I chose to explore. The game said, "Congratulations. You just discovered your hand." And it was a little exciting to be a newborn and discover your hand. And you had gained some sort of positive experience points. The game determined whether your decisions were good or bad ones. It dictated the value of an experience, as well as what you learned from it. If only life were so clear cut and consequences so pre-determined...

The only other scenario I remember, is when you are studying with a girl you like. You could only be a boy in this game, and you could only be interested in girls. This scenario was in the adolescence portions of the game. So you're alone with this presumably attractive female when she asks if she can file and buff your finger nails. And your choices are to shout "No way!", to politely turn her down, or to accept. I accepted. The game tells you that while your friends tease you at school the next day, they don't know what a hot and heavy time you had the night before, as grooming can be a very erotic experience. Maybe they didn't say erotic. Maybe they said romantic. And still the impression was left.

Whenever I saw a woman on tv or in a movie ask a man to brush her hair, I would think, "Ah ha! She knows the secret." Whenever Matthew asks to paint my toe nails or asks me to shave his head, I am immediately inclined to say yes. Mutual grooming is good, or so the influences of a game I can barely remember from my youth have etched on my mind. Long ago and far away an impression was made that stayed to this day.   February 2000 February 1999 February 1998

two years ago today: "My major decision is whether I should go see Citizen Kane -- considered by many to be the greatest film of all time, but which I have seen many, many times -- or Foxy Brown -- a classic Blaxploitation film which I am sure will be an absolute riot." * * * one year ago today: "I have been very sick. This made me upset, and I finally figured out why." * * * <   yesterday | month | tomorrow   > back to Rachel's Daily Diary