_________________ Tuesday 22 February 2000   9 04 pm pst   [ good for us ] I sometimes feel like our world is just falling apart. I feel that we are in a downward spiral and although each day I think it can't get worse and we can now swing back up to a more global kindness, it gets worse. Here's an example: "In the 1940s a survey listed the top seven discipline problems in public schools: talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, getting out of turn in line, wearing improper clothes, not putting paper in wastebaskets. A 1980s survey lists these top seven: drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault. (Arson, gang warfare and venereal disease are also-rans.)" -- George F. Will And I think Oh my god. How do we go on? Not that I am negative all the time; I tend to be a positive cheery person. But there are those days when I think that society is going down the drain. And there are days when I think we are doing swell. I had one the other night. I watched the latter half of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967), and as the credits rolled I said out loud, "We've come a long way." It was a pat on the back to Americans. At least part of this country has overcome a good portion of its prejudices. At least we can talk about these issues. At least some of us try. Good for us. The reason I am writing about this is so that I can avoid writing about today's discovery: I am terrified of getting a job. You see, I sort of applied for one today. Not in the traditional sense, because I was recommended, so I don't have to go through normal chanels. But I contacted the head honcho at the company, and I think my e-mail gave him excuse not to hire me. Did I do that on purpose? Possibly. Who knows... Who knows what I am doing with my life... * * * two years ago today: "The sun actually came out today so I trotted off to work in my new five inch platforms. Now my feet are teathered in band aids..." * * * one year ago today: "There will be lots of running around, and I am also hoping to have an opportunity to film some footage for a documentary..." * * * < yesterday | month | tomorrow > back to Rachel's Daily Diary