_________________ Tuesday 2 May 2000 |
2 50 pm pdt [ sexual fantasies ] I stayed up late last night and my brain insisted on playing variations on a sexual fantasy over and over. I've always said that I don't fantasize, but that isn't really true. I simply don't fantasize like [I believe] others do. The focus is never the sex, but rather the scenario, and my partner has no discernable physical traits. He is simply an idea -- a placeholder. Last night's fantasy involved my meeting in brilliant hacker and having him teach me everything he knows about computers. That's the most basic premise, and the variations spin off in hundreds of directions from there. How do I encouter this person? How do I approach him? For hours the story played in my head. The most amusing version had me convincing him to let me come over by offering to bring Chinese take-out. The idea that a hacker would like Chinese take-out is obviously some sort of notion that has been implanted in my head by popular television and film portrayals. In fact, I am sure I have all sorts of delusional ideas about hackers and their life-styles (and I am purposely avoiding any sort of cracker distinction here). I'm sure that hackers are as diverse as any other human population (though probably much more heavily male). But really, I just don't know... Want to share your fantasy with me? two years ago today: "He and I were discussing the more bizarre aspects of science, or rather, how scientific understanding perverts our supposed knowledge of the world." one year ago today: "The man is a machine."
|
< yesterday
|