4 44 pm pdt   [ roasting ]

I am roasting. I am sitting in Matthew's room roasting. My grampa flew out for Matthew's graduation, so we had brunch with him this morning at the Claremont hotel, where he is staying. Matthew's friend Dell also joined us. After, Dell wanted to explore SF while my grampa wanted to walk around Berkeley, so I sent Matthew to the city with Dell and I walked around 4th Street, which is a very lovely chichi neighborhood condusive to strolling and window shopping.

Matthew didn't want to go without me; he never wants to go anywhere without me. He never asks for a night out with the boys, which is how I find myself the only female amongst so many guys so often. I don't understand it, but if it makes him happy...

I couldn't handle seven hours walking around the city today. I am still so worn out from yesterday. I am also battling a foul mood. I was wallowing in it last night. I was alone in Matthew's room when he came in. I told him I was in a bad mood, and he wanted to hug nd cuddle me, but I felt too sweaty and insisted on taking a shower. He followed me to the bathroom and once I was declothed and in the shower he stepped in fully clothed and insisted on professing his love for me as he got soaked. He said, "What do I have to do to make you happy?" It was a surreal experience, and I certainly couldn't stay upset.

7 59 pm pdt   [ cooling ]

Matthew's roommate Tom is the only one home, so I talked him into making bbq veggie burgers with me, and we had a feastly dinner. It is starting to cool off, and I am starting to cool off, and I have definately decided to be in a good mood. I think Tom does that to me. He is grouchy all the time, and trying to cheer him up fills me to bursting with positive energy.

I don't have any idea how someone can go through life being unhappy all the time, but it really baffles me. Matthew is a total project, but Tom would be tenfold. If any ladies is the Bay Area need something to occupy their time, let me know...