8 56 pm pdt   [ unsettled ]

My current job dilema [since I have to have one] is whether or not to approach my boss about how uncomfortable I feel. I probably will eventually do so, but at that time I will have rehearsed the conversation so many times in my mind that I will be incapable of communicating in any remotely useful fashion.

I suppose that now is about the time that I should be settling into a routine, but I don't feel remotely settled. In fact, I feel distinctly unsettled. Hopefully, seeing Matthew this weekend will calm me...

My mom said she was proud of how well I had adjusted to my 9 to 5 job. I said that it must be due to all the cart around I did when my parents were first divorced. I never minded then, and I suppose that is why I don't mind now.

Have you ever seen Six Degrees of Seperation? It brings up the notion of trivializing people into anecdotes when we tell stories about them. That is a concern of mine. I love to tell stories. I love to document. I love to capture snippets of my life. But I also love people, and though I may reduce them to little paragraphs here, they are important -- no, vital -- to my happiness. The people in my life are what makes life so much fun for me.

There is a programmer named Kimball at work whom I simply adore. He reminds me of Josh in his kindness and patience with my endless technical questions. I am very much looking forward to getting to know him better. One of the best parts of starting a new job [in my opinion, of course] is expanding one's universe, as in meeting new people.

I love people! I consider filmmaking to be a study of people. I think taking psych classes would be good preperation for being a filmmaker. Why the heck to I have all these loony theories on the way our planet works? Sometimes I just shake my head at myself...

June 1998
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