2 17 pm pst [ old patterns ]
I don't want to go back to LA. I'm ready to move up
here and live with him full time and see what sort of a life we can make
together.
We slip into old patterns and routines and I don't mind
it one bit.
3 34 pm pst [ something yucky ]
Suddenly sweat soaked and tear stained.
I was writing the above when I called to him.
"When you get a chance, will you come cuddle with me
for a while?"
He came immediately. After demulcent kisses I gently asked, "Can we talk about
something yucky?"
This is a typical way for us to broach uncomfortable
subjects. I asked about his mom again. I wanted the play by play of
their conversation. I wanted to know how bad it was.
We had a day in Vegas (you'll find it marked by photos with a distinct lack of text).
I was not happy. She was not happy. Matthew was trying so hard to make
everyone happy. We sat in Excalibur and talked.
"There are some times," he tried to comfort me, "when
she tells me that you shouldn't have said something but I think you were
perfect." I know he was trying to make me feel better. I felt worse.
There are times when I say things that are upsetting her and I don't
know?!?
I had though Vegas was the first time it had been bad.
There was one other incident when I was playing cards with his family.
His dad was super rude to me and I just gave up, like I did with the car seat incident.
A little bit of my world has crubmled and Matthew's out
there in the hot sun with his mortar trying to patch it up before there is
any structural damage. Good thing his degree is in Civil Engineering.
