11 27 pm pst [ Luke was feverish. ]
He looked at me with more desperation that I think I've
ever seen before. The hunger in his eyes burned him and cried out to me.
I wanted to make that connection. He asked, "How are you?" and I answered
with, "I'm fine, and you?" The simplicity of our conversation belied the
flames in his eyes. I had to turn away. I could not ask him for his
story. I could not empathize. I let the moment slip away. It was
validated later on when a man asked me how long I had been sober. "I'm
just here with a friend," I replied and he let out a disappointed, "Oh..."
and turned away. My second AA meeting was interesting, full of laughter,
and another good learning experience.
Above, I took a picture of myself at dinner before we went to
the meeting. I asked to go a second time because she said the Thursday
night meeting had "a different vibe" and it certainly did. I feel very
blessed to be able to experience a support group in this manner.
She picked me up at my house and we parked by the meeting,
electing to walk to dinner. It has been so uncharacteristically cold in
LA. It makes me appreciate how lovely the weather is most of the time.
We passed a bike store and I was sort of blown away by
the multitude of vehicles lined up and tagged in perfect order. Me and my
obsession with patterns...
She gave me a belated birthday present -- socks with little
slots for each toe. They amused me so much that I had to giggle as I
slipped them on.
The evening was cold and full of fire. Her friendship
was warm; his desperation was tangible.
The speakers were funny and depressing. Their stories
needed to be shared.
And I shall sleep in my new warm socks.
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