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location:
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on a chair in one of the bedrooms of my childhood
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environment:
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warm from heavy clothes and heat; noisy from tv on in the living room and the whir of the hard drives
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newest word learned:
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bluestocking \BLOO-stock-ing\ (noun)
: a woman having intellectual or literary interests
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thinking:
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about a letter I need to write for legal purposes and about planning a surprise visit to my grandfather in New York for his 86th birthday
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feeling:
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apprehensive about the future, grateful for what I have, a little unhappy with myself, and a little bummed that my plans to fly up and visit Matthew next week fell through because he is taking off of work to go skiing
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smelling:
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the faintest trace of gas from the heater
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wishing:
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that a specific human being in San Francisco would stop sending me harassing and abusive messages, that I could easily find the perfect job, that I will move soon, and that my legal issue will quickly and easily resolve without further cost to me
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trying:
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to be more functional because some days I have trouble getting anything done and I often procrastinate to the point of non-functionality (especially with regards to personal matters); today I managed to get out of the house and run silly errands like going to the bank and the post office and even the computer repair store (and the pathetic thing is that I was proud of myself for accomplishing such menial tasks)
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wearing:
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dark blue fleece pants that Matthew bought me a couple of months ago, a long-sleeved dark green v-neck shirt my dad got me for Christmas several years ago, a grey house coat my mother bought me when I was in high school, a black braided velvet scrunchi I bough myself a few months ago, cream colored "world's softest socks" I got while on my drive across the country with my mother, a leopard pattern Victoria's secret bra, and white cotton Victoria's Secret underwear
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eating:
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nothing recently, and my belly is complaining
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in the cd player:
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Bach's Brandenburg Concertos (two CDs) and the Run Lola Run soundtrack
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last thing sent:
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six letters at the post office today: one requesting a birth certificate for my great-grandmother, one requesting a social security application for my great-grandfather, three to France trying to get in touch with relatives I don't know, and one to Israel trying to get in touch with relatives I don't know
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last thing written:
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a letter to the woman who remembers my grandmother teaching her how to tell time, to be mailed along with two full sized copies of our family tree
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last thing photographed:
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a homeless man being helped to leave his sidewalk home by what looked like another homeless man while a police officer wearing latex gloves leaned away from the parking meter he was holding onto and watched approvingly
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