_________________
Tuesday
22 May 2001
3 27 pm pdt [ surveyed ]
- What's the best bed you've ever slept in?
I'm not so picky about beds. I'm picky about pillows,
but the bed works for me if it's hard or soft, just not too lumpy. The
best bed, however, would have to be a friend's bed in Hollywood. He had
sheets made out of a thin T-shirt material and an eggcrate under the
sheets. I spent one lazy afternoon taking a nap there and I'll never
forget it...
- What never fails to relax you?
While I'd love to say "back rubs, back scratches, and
foot massages" because I love all those things, what never fails to relax
me is when my boyfriend gets stressed. He is a worrier and a stresser,
and though I can be too, when I am with him I seem to balance him out by
becoming more and more relaxed and easygoing. Growing up, my parents used
to say "N.B.D." often, which stood for "No Big Deal". Now I find myself
saying that to him. My job is to relax and de-stress him and I've gotten
pretty good at it over the years...
- What would you do if you were brave and knew you wouldn't fail?
Ooh, that's a good one. I have an absurdly high
self-preservation quotient. So there are all sorts of things that I am
afraid to do because of potential bodily harm. Those are the activities I
would like to engage in if I knew I'd be ok, but perhaps that would take
the thrill out of them. My answer is that I would go in a mosh pit. I do
hope one of these days I will be able to go skydiving...
- Do you hold a grudge or do you forgive? Why?
I used to hold grudges. Now I don't. But I also have
less tolerance for rude behaviour. If a friend of ten years treats me
like dirt, I'll walk away and not look back. If they want to reconcile,
I'm happy to. But life is too short to waste on people that don't make me
happy...
- If you could change one thing that you did today, what would you change? Why?
I would have left the house hours ago and walked down
to the rose garden to read. I really feel that I ought to have gotten the
exercise. As it is, I am planning to sit on the porch with my book as
soon as I finish this...
- What is the most vibrant or significant memory you had from your
elementary school years?
I have one strongest memory from kindergarten,
involving my dad at school, but in elementary school, it's hard to pin
down one memory. I remember horseback riding shows, the day a kid almost
drowned in our pool, the day my big toenail fell off (I dropped a five
pound weight on it), and several horrible incidents at school where I was
insulted or made fun of. These include the time in sixth grade when I
smiled while trying to comfort a crying friend and was mercilessly faulted
for "laughing at" her; the time I starred in my third grade play and had
to link arms with the lead boy, named Shane, in the final scene, which
resulted in the girls in an older grade teasing me that I was going to
marry Shane one day, which made me cry; the time when a bunch of us were
sitting at a table together and one of the boys said I was stupid and
another said I was smart (since I was in advanced reading and math as well
as being a year ahead in school) and the first boy said the second boy had
only defended me because he liked me (not because I was smart). I
remember Jeremy, who had a crush on me in third grade; he asked me if I
would date him and when I said no he asked my mother if I would. I really
don't have a strongest memory, but rather a dozen of them. I can pin down
my worst days when I was younger (breaking a plastic game piece at our
neighbor's house and getting screamed at so much I almost threw up, and
getting caught giving "jungle tours" though my neighbors garden) but not
the most vivid.
- Was high school a painful process for you or the best time of your life?
High school sucked, but isn't it supposed to?
Discovering sex was awfully fun though...
- What was your very most favorite t.v. show as a kid? Why?
If I had to pick one, it would probably be the Smurfs.
I like small things (having been exceptionally short and skinny growing
up), I liked that they were blue, and I liked that they used the word
"smurfy" to mean whatever they wanted. I use to word "foof" to that
effect.
- Who would you pick to play you in a movie based on your life? Why?
Unfortunately, I don't know a lot of actress' names, so
I'll just pick myself, since I'd like to take up acting for a few months.
- If you could choose to be a character in a book, who would you choose?
I'd be much better at selecting a character in a
movie... I'd have to pick a scifi book; let's say the heavily genetically
modified woman (I think her name is Gillian) in David Brin's Startide Rising because she's good looking, smart, athletic, in a
position of power, has a great man that everyone else wants, and she gets
to traipse around the cool scifi universe created by the author. I look
forward to seeing what the future will bring (or rather, what we will
bring to the future).
- When did you most resent your siblings?
My
siblings are so different. Being the oldest, I resented my brother
for when we'd fight, especially physically, and I'd get blamed just
because I had 3.5 years on him. I resented my sister when she was
spoiled, which most every time I saw her, since she lived with her mom and
only visits my dad occasionally.
- If you could have a conversation with one person who has died,
who would it be?
Either Alfred Hitchcock or Rod Serling. The former is
of more interest to me but I believe the latter would make for a better
single conversation. Actually, as I finished writing that I've changed my
mind. I'm tempted to say my Grandma
Ruth but actually I think my great grandfather Isador holds the most
allure to me. Why did he run from the Russian army in which he was a band
leader? What was life like in Russia then? Why did he never try to play
music in America after that first week? What was my grandfather like as a
child? What was our last name originally? What other family did he have?
- Would you rather cheat on your significant other or have them cheat on you? Why?
It would be easy to say I'd rather be cheated on, such
that I didn't do anything wrong, but the question requires a bit more
scrutiny for me. I have considered that in our lengthy experience of
dating long distance, if Matthew had managed to cheat on me, he would have
pulled off the greatest deception known to man. I knew where he was every
day and we would spend hours on the phone at a time, but that really
doesn't exclude him from slipping into a broom closet with a hot admin at
work, except for the fact that he would never do that (remember the
worrying and stressing mentioned above; Matthew would be much to afraid of
getting caught to ever do anything inappropriate at work, even with me).
But I digress. I would prefer we cheat on each other by agreeing to have
some sort of non-monogamous relationship that magically worked with no
jealousy (safety and jealousy are the only issues in my mind). We have
discussed such an undertaking, but he has no interest, and I don't if he
doesn't.
- Which of the Seven Deadly Sins are you most guilty of? Are you
trying to fix it, and if so, how?
Lust, lust, lust, lust, lust. Ok, wait a second while
I look up the list... I should have known there would be a
deadlysins.com; we have pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, covetousness
[aka greed], and sloth. Let's break this down. I don't think there's
anything wrong with pride, as long as it is not wielded in a way as
to be hurtful to others. Envy is stinky, and I thankfully don't
engage in that too often. Gluttony is a desire to consume more
than one requires. I don't think I have that, but perhaps an inflated
sense of what I will require when I get about to retiring. I'd like to
have a lot of money to play with in my old age and I like to eat a lot,
but I wouldn't consider myself gluttonous. I do like to have a lot
of space, but I can always manage to fill it will my nonsense.
Greed, to me, is so closely tied to gluttony as to not require the
distinction. I certainly want things, specifically material things, but I
think want is one of the great motivating factors of humanity. For
example, I like to have a lot of books, possibly more than I will ever
manage to read, but I don't think that makes me greedy or gluttonous in
any excessive way. We live in a capitalist society and we have to be
driven by capitalist desires on some level. Anger is a bad I work
to avoid at all costs. Sloth I am certainly guilty of, at least in
the physical sense. Sometimes I am ultra-motivated, and sometimes I am
not. Sloth also refers to spiritual laziness, which would require an
absurdly lengthy explanation from me as to how I view my spirituality.
If you don't mind, I think I'll save that for another entry. So yes,
lust it is, but I happen to think sex is a wonderful, healthy
activity and I prefer to engage in it as often as possible. My view on
life is that anything that makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone or
anything is dandy, so no, I'm not trying to "fix" it. I think better sins
would be cruelty, spite, intentionally hurting another, ignoring a
wrong/injustice, and giving-up.
- When looking back on your life, who is the one person that you
weren't close to that you wish you had become better friends with?
I can't think of one person. Every person is appealing
to me. I find others fascinating and am delighted by each life I get a
chance to cross paths with. I suppose I would have to say Eve since she's gone forever...
- What fictional character would you most like to have as a
co-worker? Why?
E would have to be someone/something smart and a bit
mischievous, to keep us out of the trouble we would get into. E would
have to have a lot of energy and I supposed I would pick a different
someone/something depending on what job I had. To help me with my current
freelance webdesign nonsense, I would select Dorian Gray. I'd love to
spend evening following him around the city and watch him sweet-talk the
clients. I don't know that he would make a very good worker, though.
- If you could break any law, with no consequences, what law would
you break? Why?
I would illegally use very expensive software (that I
simply cannot afford), but only if I could get away with it...
- If you created a Rock and Roll band, what would your band be
called and what would you play?
In high school, we had a band called the Love Handles,
which I always found to be a delicious name. Back then I decided my boy
band would be called Hairy Palms and my girl band would be called Leaky
Condoms. I still think both would be excellent grunge bands. Just a few
days ago, I told Matthew that I though Sinus Pressure was an excellent
name for a band. Obviously I go for the Adjective Noun band names. My
band would be Lavishly Linked and I would magically develop the capacity
to sing like Ella Fitgerald, making me a perfect lead singer.
- What has been your best job? Your worst job?
My worst job was my most recent, where my boss failed
to pay me. My second worst was the one before that, where I was bored out
of my mind. My best jobs were the three I had (simultaneously) at UC Berkeley. My lab job I have
the longest, and enjoyed the most in its glory days. It was the reason I
started this diary, it made me a lot of money, I liked a lot of my
co-workers, I got to teach classes, and I really enjoyed helping people.
My favorite day is when I got to introduce someone to the web for the
first time. My second longest job was working as a site designer and
Macintosh technician for various campus departments. I am still good
friends with my boss and I learned many things from that job. My third
job was a single semester, and involved managing a team to redesign the
art department's website and TA-ing a multimedia class. It was stressful
but it paid a lot and was a good experience.
- If you could suddenly have some sort of superpower, what would
you choose? Why?
The other day I was thinking about what I would wish
for if I found a genie, and I came up with four things. I'd like a magic
mirror (that could never break, be stolen, or be lost) that I could look
in and change my appearance, but I don't think appearance-changing would
be a very good superpower (though it certainly would be a lucrative one).
I'd like to stop aging (including flawless, miraculous recovery from
injury) and live forever, but that isn't a superpower. I'd like to be
able to speak, think in, and understand every language, but I don't know
that that would be the best superpower. I'd like to have fantastic
musical ability, including being able to play everything and being able to
sing perfectly, but that would be a stinky superpower ("It's
perfect-pitch-woman to the rescue!"). The superpower I'd like to have is
being able to know anything whenever I wanted to. I wouldn't like all of
humankind's knowledge to be plopped into my head, because it would alter
how I perceive the world and it would change who "I" am, but I would like
to be able to draw on that wealth of knowledge whenever I needed to. I
could make my living off of gameshows and slots, or as a professional
advice giver...
This survey was for On Display.