11 04 am pdt [ (510) 848-6523 ]

I get the local Uhaul number off their website. I dial. It rings about 14 times.

"This is Elaine. Can I help you?"

"I'd like a truck for Sunday."

"What location?"

"Berkeley"

"Hold on, I'll transfer you to that office."

It rings about 14 times.

"This is Elaine. Can I help you?"

"I'm trying to get the Berkeley office."

"They're busy now. Try again in about ten minutes."

I try again in about ten minutes.

They say they only have trucks available on Sunday after 4 pm. I say I'll call back and I call Matthew to make sure this is ok. He says yes. I call again.

It rings about ten times.

"This is Louise. Can I help you?"

"Hi, I'd like the Berkeley office."

"What?!?"

"I'd like the Berkeley office."

"What do you need?"

"A truck."

"For when?"

"Sunday."

"What size?"

"I'm moving a couch so --"

"What size, ma'am?"

"so I need to know how big the interior is."

"Please hold."

I wonder why they don't list the interior space of the truck on their website. Matthew and I have already discussed it, and will probably get a 14' truck, but we need to be sure the couch will fit. I am on hold for over ten minutes.

"Have you decided what size truck you want, ma'am?"

"No, I need you to answer my question. What size is the interior of the 14' truck?"

She sighs loudly and says the dimensions.

"Ok, I'll take the 14' truck."

"First name."

"Rachel. R-A-C-H-E-L."

"Last name."

"R-E-I-N. It says the promotional rate is $20. Is that available?"

"Last name, ma'am."

"R-E-I-N."

Then we do zip code and phone number.

"That's going to be a $120 deposit."

"How much is the truck?"

Now she starts speaking in the exaggerated slow voice you use when you want to communicate to somone that you think they are an idiot.

"The de-po-sit is one hun-dred twen-ty doll-ars. The fee is fif-ty cents per mile [exact number unknown]. The cost is nine-teen nin-ty-five per day."

I give her my credit card number. I am pissed.

"When would you like to pick it up?"

"When is the earliest I can?"

"When would you like to pick it up, ma'am?"

"What is the earliest time I can get it?"

"When would you like to pick it up, ma'am?"

"When do you open?"

She uses the stupid voice again. "Seven a.m." I wonder if she has a hearing problem or if she is the rudest person I have ever dealt with. I have dealt with some exceptionally rude customer service people in my day (as well as some awful clients) but I've never had anyone completely ignore my questions. This is quite a technique.

We arange a time. She confirms the information.

"And what was your name?" I ask.

"Karen."

"Karen?"

"Yes."

"I thought I was speaking with Louise."

"Ok, Louise. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes, you can tell me your name."

"Louise."

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

And I had to write this to stop shaking once I hung up.

[ 3 years: ]

three years ago today: I tried in vain to get online yesterday, but the dial-up was not working and I had to default to gardening. I could live and do nothing else.

two years ago today: I am in some sort of ex-boyfriend vortex.

one year ago today: I accidentally overwrote this entry.