1 09 pm pst   [ frumpy me ]

I'm having body issues. I know this will probably sound ridiculous, but I feel that when I dress in form-fitting clothing, people think I'm trying to be sexy. So I've turned into a very frumpy dresser, especially for work.

I find myself wearing my most baggy, unrevealing clothes. I'm sure the impression that I am actually conveying is that I have a very limited wardrobe. But I somehow feel safer swiming in my pants, shirts, and jackets.

I have three co-workers I see on a day-to-day basis. Dee is our supervisor of sorts. She is high energy and a bit anal -- she reminds me of me. When she's upset, everyone knows, but you can always count on her to be on time and have her work done. Bee is a nice mellow guy who got hired the week before I did and clearly loves kids as much as I do. eM also loves kids, and despite being rude to me on my second day of work, is very mellow and nice. I really hope she doesn't pull any more passive-aggressive crap with me.

Two days ago, Dee came into work angry at the world. I knew should couldn't be mad at any of us because she was upset from the start. It turns out that she had had a huge fight with her girlfriend.

At the beginning of work yesterday, I asked Dee if "she" had called. Dee's face lit up and she described making up. It was so beautiful to listen to her describe how much joy she is getting from her relationship. Ah, to be in love...

Dee told me that she was a writer. This phenomenon is something I don't think you can explain to someone who doesn't "suffer" from it. Some people just need to write. I'm one of them. I have poetry, short stories, letters, diary entries, and dreams that I have scribbled down since before I went to elementary school. High school was an especially prolific time for me, but I alos destroyed a lot of my writing that upset me upon rereading it.

So Dee was talking about how she sent a love letter to her girl every day and she let me read the day's selection, which was wonderful prose sprinkled with song titles throughout. So sweet!