11 53 pst [ official answer readers' questions
week ]
So when are you and Matthew going to get married, huh??? OK--forget
that--I just read the answer you wrote on Sunday.
I just thought I'd include that to demonstrate the
theme of questions I have been getting.
I've never been able to figure out why Matthew doesn't read your
site. What a great way to learn and gain valuable insights into the mind
of your girlfriend!
I wouldn't presume to speak for him, but my impression
is that he'd rather hear what I have to say from my mouth. When we first
began dating, he read religiously, and then his interest just tapered off
(the same is true of all of my relatives when they first learned about
it). Matthew would probably find reading me to be very redundant.
Do you think you are beautiful?
The short answer would be no. I think I am attractive
on some level. I don't think people will run screaming when they look at
me. But I don't think people will stop and stare either.
I doubt my boyfriend is embarrasssed to date me, but he
is perhaps disappointed by the lack of effort I put into my appearance.
He always looks good (and he knows it).
I find the photos I post of myself to be wholly
unsatisfactory. I think I always take them at the wrong angle. My nose
looks too big and my cheeks too fat.
If there were one thing I could change about my
appearance, I would go for flawless skin, hands down. I've always thought
I would be more pretty if my skin wasn't so bleck.
There are some days when I feel beautiful. It's an
inside thing though, not a looking in the mirror thing. On those rare
days, when I walk around pumped full of confidence, I can usually turn a
few heads. I always find it disconcerting when I get hit on when I think
I look my worst.
The last time I remember feeling beautiful was on this day in November. Some guy came
up to me in the pool hall and told me that my boots were fantastic and
that he wanted to lick them. Another guy told me it was too bad that I
had a boyfriend. These sorts of interactions can certainly set me
sparkling for the evening.
I think I had a fantastic body while I was dancing
every day, but now I am a lazy foo and always dress in baggy clothes. I
seriously need to work out, especially my arms.
So no, I don't feel beautiful now, but occasionally I
do, and on those occasions I enjoy that fleeting feeling while I can.
more questions?
January 1998
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