11 11 pm pst   [ disarray ]

Matthew has been out of town for many days now. At first I was depressed, but now I have settled into it. Unfortunately, I have not gotten the house fixed up for our party on Saturday as I had envisioned.

Someday (hopefully soon) this diary will be all put back together, and people will have to wonder when reading through the archives, but right now the entries for July are a mess, and I'm not sure I'll be able to get them all up as the were supposed to be.

I'm not sure how my diary will proceed now. I actually considered ending it. Having no computer makes it next to impossible right now. But I don't want to end it and I try not to do things I don't want to.

I know I'm supposed to try to tackle one thing at a time here, but even one thing seems overwhelming. The only thing I can manage tackling is walking to the video store to rent an absurd amount of movies.

Oh, and when I dropped off my rent check this evening, my landlord told me he wanted to pay for our cable [modem] installation. I was so shocked. He must be the nicest landlord ever! I tried to refuse, but he was very insistant. I'll have to speak to Matthew about it.

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four years ago today: I am completely exhausted from wandering around San Francisco shopping spots on a warm Saturday.

three years ago today: We spent part of the morning talking about having children.

two years ago today: "Can we go out to dinner?" I asked -- my life revolves around eating.

one year ago today:

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