2 44 pm pdt [ in SF ]

I am parked on a hill in San Francisco in Matthew's car. I couldn't believe there was a space open right in front of my destination, and an end space no less, I wouldn't even fantastize about trying to parallel park Matthew's car.

Driving here really freaked me out, partially because using the heavy clutch so much in stop and go traffic on the freeway made my foot ache, partially because we were late, and then because she [the-girl-I-nanny] spilled milk in the car. When she got in this morning I looked at her cup and asked, "Is that something that can spill because I can't have anything that can spill in this car?" She assured me that it was a no-spill cup and when we arrived the milk it contained was all over the floor mat. I'm still mad. But I'm trying not to be.

So driving on the hills in someone else's stick shift car made me very nervous.

I took myself to the Sutro genealogical library after dropping her off and made it there without incident. But after several hoiurs in the library, it became very apparent to me that I was/am having an anxiety attack. I cannot stop my heart from racing.

A girl who looks like Aurora has just walked out of the Art Institute. I try to picture sometimes how I would have faired at an art school, but simply can't.

Well, it seems time to put this beast away. I have my second to last Child Development class tonight and ...

...these students all look so young.

I keep getting distracted, which is no good when you're having a conversation with yourself.