December 99 December 98 December 97 _________________ Wednesday 15 December 99   1 46 am pst   [ more than sex ] I asked Matthew's roommate Tom if he ever wondered what people think about him [I am quite fond of asking questions out of the blue whenever they pop into my mind].   He said "More than sex..." which I found to be a compelling and telling answer. I often wish I knew what others think of me, especially since I am often exceptionally outgoing, which can lead to the varied responses of she's so wonderful and she's so annoying.   I have been know to be both at various times. Matthew and I both want to be desired by each other's friends.   He wants my friends to admire him while I want his friends to be wowed by me.   I do so love when one of my friends says he is attractive or wonderful; that is a validation I never know I want until I get it. 11 51 am pst   [ happy/right nice/smart ] In corresponding with Nancy [of Perforated Lines], she wrote: There's a great line in the movie "Harvey" when they're trying to put Jimmy Stewart in the loony bin because he sees a giant pink rabbit -- something about being smart or being nice and how it's better to be nice. I've gotta look that up and embroider it on my sleeve and memorize it. Matthew was laying next to me on the bed [How do I love my laptop?   Let me count the ways...] and was apparently reading over my shoulder, for he laughed.   I knew immediately where the humor lay: my mother. People often bemoan how difficult it is to find information on the 'net, and I have always prided myself on my ability to do so, so I knew exactly where to look for a quote from Harvey (1950).   I fired it off to Nancy: Elwood P. Dowd: My mother used to say to me, "Elwood" --- she always called me Elwood --- "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh-so smart, or oh-so pleasant." For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant --- and you may quote me. And here we find the mother theme again.   [And here I must confess that I find Nancy to be a very motherly character, which I mean as one of the highest compliments.] What made Matthew giggle is that my mother once asked me: "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?"   She was trying to point out that I am perhaps a bit unkind when I correct people.   The truth is, I have been known to be unkind specifically to my parents.   There was always some quality about being able to correct the people who were always supposed to be right... My point being that I am happy when I am right.   Whenever my mother asked me that question I told her I preferred to be right.   I never ceased to be amused that my mother made happy and right two mutually exclusive ways of being, and thus I have repeated the phrase often enough; it had become one of the many personal jokes Matthew and I share. And there in my inbox was Nancy declaring that she would rather be pleasant than smart -- or she would rather be happy than right, if you will.   Perhaps this is a shred of wisdom I have yet to aquire.   Perhaps the moms are on to something... 3 00 pm pst   [ goody two-shoes ] Catherine [of About Journals] queried if I knew the origin of goody two-shoes, and challenged me to find it if I didn't.   So here are the results, from two different locations: "Little Goody Two-Shoes" was the heroine of a children's story of the same title, first published in 1765 and often attributed to that favorite of English graduate students everywhere, Oliver Goldsmith. The story, such as it is, concerns a poor waif who has somehow managed to make it through life with only one shoe. Finally rewarded with another, she scampers over hill and dale pointing at her feet and crying "Two shoes! Two shoes!" in so cloying a manner that her name has lived through the ages as a symbol of puerility. "Goody" is a contraction of "Goodwife," a form of address roughly equivalent to our "Mrs.," and now archaic. ...from The Straight Dope, and... It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which is thought to have been written by Oliver Goldsmith, and which was published in 1765 by John Newbery, one of the earliest London publishers of children's stories. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying "Two shoes". The phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person. ...from World Wide Words [European mirror]. 10 48 pm pst   [ glasses right away ] Matthew has but one final left -- at lunch time tomorrow, and his only chore for today was to go get an eye exam.   He has horrid eyesight, and thus has disposable contacts.   The only problem is that he doesn't dispose of them -- he has been wearing the same pair for months on end.   I have gently nudged several times for him to make an appointment, and I was really proud of him for finally doing so.   We have found a happy medium (for the most part) of nudging each other to get necessary tasks done without torturing each other or taking on a parental tone. I had worried that he would get some sort of bacterial build-up or something from never changing his contacts, so I wasn't completely shocked when he called from the doctor's office.   With panic in his voice he reported that his eyes were "really fucked up" and that he needed to get glasses right away.   "Would you be willing to help me pick out frames?" He drove home to pick me up.   I took a quick shower and thought of ways to make this excursion a positive adventure.   I told him I would treat him to lunch "to celebrate getting glasses" and I even offered to take him out for pie later [he worships key lime pie]. We went to the restaurant we first ate in together years ago.   I got my usual -- a garden salad with no eggs and no avocado.   I specifically asked for no bread, but they put it on anyway.   (top picture) I invited him to a game of sufflepuck while we waited for our food.   He was playing with exceptional precision, and that feeling of delight worked with a beer to make my sweety relax.   I like shufflepuck for the table's odd shape and for the game's ease of set-up.   While we ate I noticed that few people walked by without trying out their skills on at least one puck.   (second and third pictures) Picking out frames turned out to be surprisingly painless and frighteningly expensive.   The lenses cost as much as the frames, which I didn't remember from when I got my glasses.   I love mine, but almost never wear them because I can get away with it.   Matthew and I both have expensive taste in frames.   (fourth picture) Despite Lens Crafters guarantee of one hour delivery, the woman working there informed us that it would take two hours to get the glasses made.   When we later looked sufficiently distraught about the price, she gave us a $50 discount for the extra wait time.   The sky smiled on us with a stunning sunset (we have been fortunate enough to have them all week).   (fifth and sixth pictures) We had two hours to spend, so we tried to see a movie, but were at the theatre at the wrong time.   We mulled around at various stores, including Toys 'R' Us, but I was getting absurdly sleepy.   Matthew decided to take me for ice cream (Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip is my favorite).   I readily agreed to cheat on my vegan diet and sang along to Snoop Dog as I ordered ice cream.   (seventh picture) I adore Matthew's frames.   I am a big fan of unusual shapes and I pushed for a stong rectangular frame for him.   I hope his parents don't think I made a wretched suggestion.   I love men in glasses.   I like the preppy intellectual look that tends to go with small wire fames.   I have spent the past few hours telling Matthew how sexy he looks in his new glasses.   Neither of his roommates even noticed!   (bottom two pictures)

I go to Merriam-Webster's website (www.m-w.com) at least once a day for a word look-up.   Dictionary.com is also a good site for definitions.   Here are two words I have recently learned: hirsute Function: adjective Date: 1621 HAIRY, especially covered with coarse stiff hairs [hirsute leaf] puerile Function: adjective Date: 1661 JUVENILE; CHILDISH, SILLY [puerile remarks]