December 99 December 98 December 97 _________________ Sunday 19 December 99 10 23 pm mst   [ skiing day 1 ] Skiing today was exquisite.   Matthew brought his infinite patience to the snow.   We rode beginner runs all day, and I didn't really fall at all.   I did well when I forgot to be nervous.   Matthew asked me to try touching my pole near my ski when I turned; he said it would help with my rhythm.   He is a genius, for my concentration erratcated my fear for most of the mountain. Matthew liked to stay behind me, to watch me and then to get in a bit of fast skiing catching up.   The few times I convinced him to go in front of me, I was awed by his metric rhythm.   He is exquisite to watch -- a long human form bending from arc to arc. I am well suited to this chaperoning role.   I have been confiscating alcohol all evening from the teens who are stupid enough to have it visible when their doors are opened.   I am shocked.   It would never have occurred to me to behave this badly when i was their age, and if it had I would have been much more discreet.   I tend to be guilt driven, so I would have felt bad to have been caught breaking rules, but these kids aren't like that.   I really can't pin down my feelings about this, but I get a small pit of disappointment in my belly that I can feel right now.   Or is it disgust?