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12 11 am pst My water color skills were failing me, since my attempt at the Eifel Tower was wretched, but tonight I made a decent painting of my precious camera. I sat on the floor of my room painting while my brother blasted away another of my Snood high scores. I was blasting The Magical Mystery Tour Beatles CD. I sang loudly. There is something very confortable about occupying a space with someone, and not needing to fill it with conversation. Ages ago (about a year ago) I found a half dozen Super-8 movies that my parents took. I had always thought they were images of my parents, but now I realize they are of me. The first one is dated from when I was 5 months, and the last two are labled "12 1/2 mo" and "14 1/2 mo". Hopefully the film isn't totally dead, since it hasn't been viewed in twenty years. Now I have to set about locating a Super-8 sound projector I can use, which I think might not be so easy... There are only 3 videos from my childhood, and one of them begins with my father filmming my mother fighting with him. It was shot shortly before their seperation. I watch it now with wonder. I was there, but I had no idea that my parents' marriage would shortly end. They fought all the time; that was normal back then. It is a strange sick feeling to watch my parents fall apart on tape. I wonder if my children will feel that way about some of my entries. |
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10 46 pm pst I am thankful that I didn't have to get a job right away after graduating. I am thankful that my family had the money to send me to college so I didn't have to take out yuchy student loans. I am thankful that my body functions properly and had all its parts and no extra ones. I am thankful that my mind functions properly. I am thankful that I am not schizophrenic. [It runs in the family.] I am thankful that I have such a wonderful family that I love and that love me. I am thankful that by chance I managed to pick up enough computer skills just by fooling around that I will never have to worry about finding a job. I am thankful that I know HTML and I can work on my webpage every day, because it brings me great joy. I am thankful that I have so many passions and interests. I am thankful that so many people have helped me with my genealogical research and that I have found so many relatives. I am thankful for all of my toys, especially my computers and my dv camera. I am thankful that I have a home, and that if I didn't I have so many places to turn for one. I am thankful that I have a wonderful and kind boyfriend who loves me very much and treats me like I am a princess. I am thankful that I have a brother and sister who I not only love, but get along with perfectly. I am thankful that I have a modicum of artistic talent and that I have so many outlets for my drive to create (painting, drawing, filmming, writing, ceramics, dancing etc.). I am thankful that I have flannel sheets. I am thankful that I have so many clothes that i love that I feel like i am making an art work every time I get dressed in the morning. I am thankful that I derive such enjoyment out of food, that I have the opportunity to eat good food, and that I love to cook. I am thankful that both my parents adore me and still welcome me into their homes with open arms. I am thankful that I like in such a beautiful city [Los Angeles] and that I have an opportunity to live in two other wonerful places [Bay Area and New York]. I am thankful that my grandfather let me stay with him in Manhattan (rent-free). I am thankful that I had the opportunity to <>drive across the country, and that I was able to do so with my mother. I am thankful that my brother and I have so many personal jokes from my childhood. I am thankful that I have so many passions and that I dervie so much enjoyment out of the projects I make for myself. I am thankful that if I want to make a movie instead of working next year, I can. I am thankful that I already have so many beautiful objects that I want to have in my home someday. I am thankful that the idea of having children is fantastic to me. I am thankful that I actually enjoy working very much. I am thankful that I am friends with several of my old bosses. I am thankful that I meet people where ever I go. I am thankful that I don't have any chemical addictions. I am thankful that I am only 21 and I have so many years of life ahead of me [hopefully!]. I am thankful that I tend to be very appreciative of people and opportunities as I experience them. I really try not to take things for granted. I am thankful that I find so much beauty in the world. I am thankful that I have so many memories that make me smile. I am thankful that I am alive and that I am me. |
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