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6 09 pm pst [ confession time ] I am sitting in LAX waiting for my flight up to Berkeley and I've got a hankering to talk about religion. This is one of those touchy subjects where I tend to be nerveous that I will either offend people of make them feel bad for my. I laothe when the deeply religious feel bad for me and give me their superior attitude about their religious lifesytle. To each his or her own, is what I say. My basic philosophy is that people should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. That "anyone" includes plants and animals because I have strong environmental and animal rights tendencies. My personaly jury is still out on things that hurt only you, like not wearing a seat belt or using drugs. I have to give those issues more serious consideration eventually. My father is Jewish and my mother is Catholic. My father's main stipulation in marrying my mother was that their children would be raised Jewish. My mother once told me that her greatest regret in life was that my brother and i weren't raised Catholic. I am so glad. I recently told Matthew that I didn't think that it would be possible for him to be as religious as he is if he had grown up in my family. I grew up with two parents who had very different views of god, and thus I always thought of religion as something subjective or learned, as opposed to something true. Matthew's father was a Lutheran minister (and is now a counselor for the church) and his mother teaches at a Lutheran elementary school. Matthew went to a religious school when he was younger. His sister attends a religious university. I think it was unfair of me to say what I did to him; I think it sounded as though I was treating his faith fliply. Faith is at the heart of my problem. I have none. I was recently talking with Matthew's mother about her growing distaste of organized religion (because people use it so often to discriminate or be exclusionary) and she said she is deeply spiritual and faith-full. I have always considered myself to be spiritual, but I am without faith. I am heavily logic oriented, and I tend towards the "seeing is believing" attitude. I consider eligion to be something that was created for explain things. The concept of god/gods explained much of what we now explain with science (such as the weather), much of what we will never be able to explain with science (such as what happens before life and after death), and most importantly, why we should behave. Everyone has been mad enough to want to hurt someone, and children [and adults] often do hurt others as they learn how to function in society. Religion explains why you shouldn't kill someone when they make you angry. Religion offers awards and punishments. I consider myself to be a highly moral person (all most too moral, since I am displeased by how often I feel guilty). I feel that I don't need religion to tell me why I should behave. I don't need the concepts of heaven, hell, reincarnation, karma, or judgement day to encourage me to try to be a good person. I try every day. My mother often says that she is envious of people who have a lot of faith; it must be a wonderous way to go through life. But such an idea is so foreign to who I am as a human being. Matthew believes that religion is a very personal thing, and as such, he never brings up the subject with me. This fact is unfortunate, for we have amazing conversations on the subject when I do broach the subject. He tries to explain how personal it is for him, but I can't help being saddened by this subject that is such a big part of his life that rarely passes between us. My mother really believes that Mary was a virgin without sin and was divinely impregnted by the son of god. I wasn't raised with these beliefs, and they will always look absurd to someone who is on the outside looking in. Judaism does not have the concept of original sin nor heaven and hell. The idea of anything after death is ephemeral at best in Judaism, and I can't remember ever learning anything about it in Hebrew school (which I attended from 3rd - 7th grade). There is the notion of judgement day, but I was never very clear on when that was coming; Jews atone for their misbehavings [for lack of a better word] once a year on Yom Kippur. However, my drive to be good [and yes, this is my concept of good] is not at all religiously based. I would say, if nothing else, it is empathy based. I can easily put myself in someone elses shoes and I tend to make excuses for people. When I am stopped in traffic on a freeway in Los Angeles and someone speeds by in the shoulder, I can't get mad. I hav been with many drivers who have been furious that this person zoommed ahead, but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are a doctor called to an emergency, or perhaps it is a man who just received word that his wife is in labor. If someone slows down in a car in front of me for no apparent reason, I assume they are lost and looking at a map. This really is a healthy attitude, because I get angry much less than others. If someone does something rude I try to remind myself that I have done rude things before. Most importantly, I try not to get angry at people who are not at fault. Have you ever seen someone in an airport who has lost their luggage and is screaming at some poor clerk who is helpless to rectify the situation. Taking your anger out on someone tends to be an unhelpful activity. When people get really mad for little reason, I often have to laugh and wonder how they can go through life that way [high blood pressure, ulcers, and hear attacks]. Life is too short to get pissy over evry little bump in the road. I am obviously full of life today and will have to remember to reread this next time I get grouchy. [ It is now 6 47 pm and since my flight is supposed to leave at 7 and people haven't even started to line up, I know I'm going to be late. But I can't be mad, because in less than two hours I am going to be in the arms of my beau, and he said that we are going to have a wonderful evening -- whatever we are doing for dinner and such is a surprise. Life is good! ] |
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8 03 pm pst [ can you beleive it? ] And now to report on one of the most idiotic things I have done in ages. As I was sitting there typing that last entry -- all involved in my serious thoughts -- I completely missed my flight. I didn't hear them call boarding, nor did I see anyone doing so. But I have done a marvelous job of keeping a positive attitude (how could I not after what I wrote above?) and I have found several good things about the here and now. First was Chris, who was a total delight to talk to while waiting for the plane (I'm on board now). We discussed distance learning (which I have no interest in) and teach in English in forgeign countries (which I am very interested in). While boarding the plane there were these two boys who had the following conversation:
You're a bigger melbahker. You're melbahkerer. You're the melbahkerest. You're a melbahker times two. You're a melbahker times one hundred. You're a melbahker times one thousand. You're a melbahker infinity. You're a melbahker infinity plus one. I am seated next to a friendly shrink, and I got an aisle seat (which I love). My only hope is that Matthew isn't grouchy or flustered, since he is being such a peach and picking me up. I won't even blame him if he is, since I made the boo boo. I called his house when I realized I had missed the flight, but he had already left... |
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