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Thursday
7 October 99
3 21 pm edt
I can envision a society that celebrates suicide. Suicide is one of
the myriad forms of population conrol available to humans, and I can
picture in my mind's eye a place they celebrate ritualistic suicide.
Prominence is awarded to those who have many family members who
have given up their lives for the good of the many. The celebration
of the act is widespread and the remembrence of those who have done so is
done with high regard. Some children are trained from birth to take
their lives at a certain age. It is frowned upon to die of natural
causes. Perhaps there are no hospitals; perhaps you kill yourself
when you become ill. I can imagine it. Funny how humans are
able to develop such bizarre practices... This one wouldn't
surprise me at all.
3 34 pm edt
Matthew is arriving in New York shortly
after nidnight tongiht. I will meet him at the airport and we
travel together to our hotel on 48th Street. I am so excited
I can hardly contain myself. I worry slighly that this kind of
blissful union (what I am calling our "weekend of love", pronounced
"weekend of luuv") will make it harded for us to be apart after said
weekend, but even if this turns out to be so, I know it will be worth it.
I have always, always loved this quote (I was on the door of my room in
my college apartment):
He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.
-- Ring Lardner (1885-1933)
Well, now I have one I think I like even better, but it is along the same
lines:
When we stood next to each other, we made other people nervous.
Doesn't that just say it all?!? [Quoted with prmission.] In
fact, I think the idea of The List
is fantastic. I would probably do the same if I weren't for fear
of my mother reading it (there are
certain things mother's just shouldn't know). After all, I do have
a list of men I have dated...
5 14 pm edt
I have spent a significant portion of the day going back and forth in
e-mail with Ashley. He sent
me this
entry about flings in an e-mail, and I did my best to answer.
First we had to sort out that we were defining the word differently.
Ahley was using "fling" to refer to cheating, but I define a fling
as breif and/or meaningless sex. After that the converation
sprouted many tangents.
I feel guilty about sex, specifically about having multiple partners.
Having sex with one guy 400 times is somehow much better than
having sex with two guys once each. At least, that is the message
I've gotten from society, growing up in the states. I don't want to
feel that way. When I logically think about it, I can't find
anything wrong with two consenting adults partaking in whatever physical
activites delight them.
Another thing about the aforementioned list of Sara's lovers. I think it is
fantastic. I think it would be even better if it had the guys' real
names. I love the idea of some guy looking up his name in a search
engine and coming across a woman's page of her lovers. Even better
if she rates their performance! Perhaps I should start a database
where women can rate the sexual performence of men they've had.