_________________
Sunday
5 September 99
12 04 am edt
If my grandfather subscribed to the SPICE channel, I could be watching
Sex-terrestrials right now. The television selection is pitifully
bad tonight, and I really like the noise while I peck away at my machine.
8 32 pm edt
I just watched Character (aka Karakter, 1997 [home, amazon, imdb]), which is a breathtaking
film full of many profound emotions which I felt as I watched the film.
The notion of someone you want to hurt is foreign to some, but I
think I understand how it feels, despite the fact that my theoretical rage
has no recipient.
As the film ended, my grandfather brought me the television guide for the evening. He asked me one evening if I wanted it, and now he dutifully brings it to me from the paper each day. There are those little gestures that someone does when they love you, and I was trying to think of the ones my father did. Long ago, when he still lived with my mother, he used to save the last sip of soda in his soda can, and my brother and I would trade off nights of getting this coveted last sip. Sometimes he would leave an extra big sip for me (when he thought about it), which always delighted me.
Matthew does not have so many of these gestures, and many of the ones that pass between us involve information -- shared links and tidbits sent in e-mails. We have an electrical conponent to our romance. He did just send my my dress which I left at his house, and he bought a map of Manhattan for me and included it in the package. I sigh to think of how much such a gesture means to me. He has no idea how many little ways he makes me feel special.
Today I went out again with my Uncle Ronnie, whom I call Ron-Ron. I took the subway to meet him at City Hall, and we walked about Chinatown, the World Trade Center, and Battery Park. We then took the Staten island Ferry there and back. Next we took the subway to Queens, to sample Ron-Ron's favorite magaritas at Sgt. Garcia's. After stuffing myself on veggie fajitas, we walked about "The Gardens" in Queens -- my head reeling on only one tita. Last, the subway carried me home, and in my exhaustion I decided to watch the movie. Soon I must shower, and remove the sweet garlic smell that it leaking from my skin.