_________________
Tuesday
7 September 99
1 09 pm edt
Well, I haven't managed to make it out of the house yet. On a whim,
I decided to read someone else's diary, when I read on a mailing list that she was going through
a divorce. She had an entire
entry on shit* which reminded me very much
of David. He was
very fond of shit expressions, especially: shit in one hand and wish in
the other and see which one fills up faster. I always thought that
was an absurdly crude thing to say... I don't think of him very
often, and when I do it is only to be happy I never have to deal with his
nonsense again. I do hope he doesn't send me any more harassing
e-mails. The make me upset without my even reading them. He
is purposefully hurtful, which I will never understand. I can't
remember the last time I was intentionally cruel to someone. That kind of action seems so
second grade.
9 41 pm edt
A smattering of quotes for the evening...
Spell checkers are for sorcerers.
-- unknownThe last time somebody said, "I find I can write much better with a word processor," I replied, "They used to say the same thing about drugs."
-- Roy Blount, Jr.Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Why is it that women are never made "Junior"? I wonder if, with the whole breakdown of the sex roles over the past few decades, if there aren't some Junior women running around. I rather like the idea, but I secretly want a granddaughter named rachel, and have no idea how I will convince my children to make me one. I have the names of two of my daughters picked out (permitting that my husband likes them), but the only name I can come up with for a son is Alexander, unless I rely on good old fashioned biblical names. My newest cousin, who was born on September second, was named by her mother, with her father having the right to veto the name. I rather like this idea, and wonder if it is a jewish tradition (my little cousin Ori [I prefer the spelling Aurie, and it is a translated name] was born in Jerusalem).
My brother just e-mailed me his schedule:
Here's my schedule: Mon. Psych 9:00-10:15, Bio 11:30-12:20, Eng 1:00-2:15 Tue. Span 11:30-12:45 Lab 1:30-5:00 Bio Sec 7:00- Wed. Psych 9:00-10:15, Bio 11:30-12:20, Eng 1:00-2:15 Thu. Span 11:30-12:45 Fri. Bio 11:30-12:20
10 19 pm edt
New word for the day...
Main Entry: soi-gné Variant: soi-gnée /swän-'yA/ Function: adjective Etymology: French, from past participle of soigner to take care of Date: 1821 1 : WELL-GROOMED, SLEEK 2 : elegantly maintained or designed <a soigné black dress>
There happens to be a journal with this name.
11 09 pm edt
I will admit that getting a huge number of joke e-mails is one of the
downfalls of e-mail, but I thankfully now only get a few, and sometimes I
come across a real winner, like the one my friend Steve sent me this evening:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
---------------------------------------------JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, so we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?KEN STARR
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Reverend Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you please define "chicken"?LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?RACHEL
I'm so glad I'm a vegetarian.
Ok, so I added that last one, but I couldn't let Colnel Sanders get the last word. I think the reason I liked this so much (besides the fact that I thought the Jerry Falwell section was truly brilliant) is because it is such an amalgam of references to our times...