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Sunday
12 September 99
1 00 am edt
I sort of hid in my room all day today (Saturday). I know I should
feel guilty for that (it's that whole living in a society driven by the
protestant work ethic thing). I like being alone. DOn't get
me wrong, I loved spending every minute of every day with Matthew. I used to tell people to
imagine the most amount of time you could spend with someone, and then
double it, and that is how much time we spent together. I cherished
every socond of it, and I never missed my alone time. But I do so
love my alone time, and now that it is forced upon me (by my own hand, no
less), I am really enjoying the kind of vegging that gives you a headache
and makes your eyes hurt, but is still considered "worth it".
1 09 am edt
reminder again....:
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11 46 am edt
I awoke with an old memory in my head -- one that I didn't even know that
I carried about with me. It spurned a whole serioes of related
memories, as I lay in bed trying to ignore the pressing urge to go to the
bathroom. Matthew always laughs
that I so readily hop out of bed in the morning (no snooze button for me),
but now you know why.
12 17 pm edt
I was interrupted in my stream of thought by the obligation to go clean.
I guess my little hovel of a room has gotten too slobby to be
tolerated. I have an amazing ability to destroy any space.
So laundry is being done, and I moved my winter clothes to where they can
be stored until it gets a bit cooler. I am so excited to prance
about in my heavy jackets all decked out with hat, gloves, and scarf.
The most bizaare habit of my grandfather has to be hand washing dishes, and then putting them in the dishwasher to drip dry. The dish washer apparently runs fine, but he prefers this method...
If I may digress to my earlier entry about my memories of this morning, I was remembering calling 976 numbers with my friend at her house in second grade. Then I was thinking about how disgusted I used to get to see a kiss in a movie, especially if my mother was watching with me. Then I was thinking about the nature of imagination. When I was first on the 'net in 1995 (when I was 16), I used to describe myself as:
The stunning beauty which this description probably conjures in your mind is far from how I actually look, despite the accuracy of my words. I had braces until I was 16, and had a bad case of acne which I battle to this day (in my own lazy way). I bit my nails until I was 16 and a half and I still have no sense of fashion.5'4
99 lbs
blonde hair down to my butt
grey eyes
Imagination is wonderful, but it certainly can lead to disappointment. This is why I like planning as much as I like doing. Making preperations for a trip can surely be as fun as going on said trip.
5 18 pm edt
Someone better be quick to tell me that going clubbing alone isn't a good
idea, because I just ripped out the
"Clubland" listings from today's [technically tomorrow's] New York Magazine. There are a
handful of places I would like to explore, and I now vow that I will go
dancing next weekend, unless there are some unforseen circumstances which
interfere (being lazy does not count).
5 41 pm edt
As you can probably tell from the time of my entries, I have been sort of
living online these past few days. I am doing a little residual web
work from my summer in LA, and in general, trying to stay on top of my
correspondence. In addition, Matthew and I have frequent "dates" online, in which we communicate
via "talk" on our respective telnet sessions. I still seem to
manage to call him every night, if only to say goodnight and wish him
well. He is often in my thoughts, and always on my mind...