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Sunday
31May98 5:48 pm
I am enjoying a lazy Sunday at home.   I was supposed to go to the gym but I could not locate the energy.   I feel like a slob because all I do is eat and watch movies on TV.   I went outside to read in the backyard with my dog, but the sun was giving me a heat rash after only fifteen minutes, my dog kept barking, and the flies were out for dinner.   I do not understand the sun worshipers.   I am reading a book called Virtualities which is quite interesting, but a bit too focused on Television for my interests.   I, of course, prefer film criticism.  

My man took off to Hawaii for two days.   A friend of his had an extra ticket that needed to get used to maintain the group rate.   I am supposed to pick him up at the airport Tuesday morning.   My mom has been teasing me about how I will survive for a day without him.   It is true, we spend every single day together.   We both like it like that.

11:33 pm
I am going to force myself to stay up late so that I will wake up late in the morning and end this habit of rising at seven.   I feel slightly bad because I turned down an offer to go out tonight on the pretense that I would be too tired, which is true since a 10:30 movie would mean I would not get home until one.   The invite came from a friend who has the tendency to put me down for not being social enough.   Needless to say I have not been seeing him very often this semester.   In addition, the entourage which was to attend the movie consisted of a frighteningly large number of my highschool classmates.   The thought gives me shivers.

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Saturday
30May98

8:06 pm
Today I began uploading the past week's entries after being offline for quite some time.   I have being configuring my mother's computer like mad (the old Centris 650).   I bought her a new modem (she's now at 33.6 rather than 14.4) and increased her RAM from 8 to 72.   Now she can run a browser.   Opening her computer was frightening.   I have never seen anything so dirty.   Her floppy drive is dead so I have to set about to locate a new one.   I have been visiting Fry's Electronics on a regular basis.

My mother took me to a soy cooking class today.   This experience was good for me since I am a vegan who loathes tofu.   I decided it was not so bad after all.   My mum and I had a blast poking fun at the instructor.   She was quite knowledgeable, but she was very scolding to her students and she had some extreme views on food (not that I don't...).   She said that eating too many soy foods would kill one's sex drive; she knew because she had tried it.   My mom kept giggling at the instructor's fixation with the sexual organs.   The parts of her philosophy which I did not agree with included the idea that you should only eat foods that are native to where you live.   She said not to eat pineapple because pineapple does not grow in California.   She said that it is unhealthy to eat Italian one night and Chinese the next.   I strongly disagree.   I think that it is healthy to eat the best of different foreign cuisines.   And if one lives in Wisconsin (as my mother commented later) is one supposed to change one's diet to strictly meat and potatoes?   That would be absurd.   She was a macrobiotic.   I have read about the macrobiotic diet, and do not especially like it.   It calls for eating a high level of grains.   They work fish and eggs into the diet, which I, of course, do not eat.   And the macrobiotic diet operates according to the seasons.   You eat things at one time of the year and no others.   But I have apricot trees here and they give fruit (hundreds upon hundreds of apricots) for only two weeks out of the year.   I do not believe it is healthy for me to load up on apricots for only two weeks.   If I can buy them from somewhere else the rest of the year, this is a more balanced way to eat.

The instructor also said that eating partial foods (such as just egg whites) makes one a "partial person".   My mom and I have been chuckling over that.   And I was surprised that her recipes were fashioned as imitation meat dishes.   My feeling on being a vegan is: why bother with the fake foods?   I hate the trend of tofu dogs and burgers and soy cheese.   I confess to having fake (soy) milk, but I love my cereal in the morning.   But what we made included mock chicken salad, tofu burgers (from scratch), and even fake mashed potatoes (millet mashed potatoes which contained no potatoes).   However we did learn a lot.   I got some great recipes (even the tofu flan was yummy) and learned a few new techniques.   The teacher recommended a book called Healing with Whole Foods that I hope to check out this summer (add that to the list).

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Friday
22May98

9:02 pm
My final was decent and I am mostly glad to have it done.   I did not study very much at all, but it was not exactly the kind of class you can study for.   Needless to say, none of my classmates studied either.   The most I heard was three hours, which is pretty skimpy as far as Berkeley usually fares.   I am glad that Cind and I moved our get-together to tomorrow since I would not have the energy for it tonight.   I, in fact, have not invited a soul.   Most everyone is out of town and I am not up for entertaining.   I suppose I will call around tomorrow if I remember.   I hate being so forgetful.   I am hoping that having more leisure time this summer will mean that I will be able to manage my thoughts better.   Summer projects:

• work two computer jobs
• make additional web pages for children's author
• make additional web pages for my dad's friend
• make a movie
• read up on postmodernism, poststructuralism, virtuality, sci-fi, cyborgs, simulacra, and film
• write in my diary on a daily basis

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Thursday
21May98

7:56 pm
Today would be the day to study, but I just cannot bear it.   I finally got around to cleaning.   He was a total darling and helped with the kitchen floor and I made my room spotless all on my own.   I can never manage to keep my room clean (tidy) and I wonder why that is.   One girl I know (Sara) said that her Brazilian parents never went in her room when she was young and that is why she is so vigilant about cleaning it -- it is, and always has been -- her own space.   I am not sure how valid that theory is.   I used to think I did not clean because my mom is a neat freak; I was convinced it was some sort of rebellion.   But that is not correct; I am just like my mother: clean (not dirty) but cluttered.   Both my parents are pack rats, and thus so am I.

I installed my new power supply and my computer is purring once again.   I also made use of my drill to make perfect screw holes in the brackets for my additional hard drives.   They are now securely installed.   Hardware is so much better than studying.   I wish I was a bit nervous about my final -- that would scare me into studying.   But my nonchalance has stayed with me and my procrastination has grown.   [I was just reminded of my Judo instructor from last semester who said that "proscrastination" was the hardest word in the English language (I hope he managed to lose that extra S; that would make the word difficult for anyone)].

Cindy's sister arrived and he said it was like Cindy times two.   I felt bad because I had to take off right away for work and then when I got back I left again to spend the night at His place.   I used studying for my final tomorrow as an excuse, but I knew there would not be much of that going on.   I wanted to play with my computer and escape the pressures of entertaining.   I always end up "performing" for guest, which can be quite exhausting.

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Wednesday
20May98

5:39 pm
He and I drove to Fry's Electronics (for the second time in so many weeks).   I was very worried about being on time.   At around eleven this morning Berkeley experienced a power outage, but I was sure it would be back up by the time I had to be on campus.   The outage certainly disrupted a lot of finals and I am sure it upset people who needed to finish and print papers on campus.   The traffic coming back from Fry's was horrid, even though we had allowed extra time for it.   There was a five car pile-up, including a semi.   I was going to be late, so I called, but no one answered.   We went as fast as possible, and when I finally ran into the building I was greeted by a man who informed me that the power was out. Then I was a bit bitter that no one from work had notified me (I had called home and checked my messages).   Such is life.

I learned that Berkeley generates quite a bit of power, but that we sell a good chunk of it to PG&E and then buy some back from them.   This waste of money might seem absurd, but it is necessary for some of the research labs on campus.   Apparently, we have experiments that have been in progress since the seventies, and constant power is vital.   Of course, these labs also usually have back-up generators, but the also use outside power, so that the outside company is responsible for any outages.

Cindy's sister is arriving tomorrow, and thought I was hoping to clean and study today, the day is dwindling and my productivity has not yet arisen.   I have been considering the relativity of the things we take seriously in life.   Consider money.   I will take bags with me to the supermarket to get 25 [wow, I just realized I have no idea how to make a cents symbol] cents off my purchases (5 cents per bag) even though my bill will be over one hundred dollars.   I will haggle to get a few bucks off a damaged book or other item, but I shelled out several thousands of dollars to buy my computer.   My dad clips coupons but paid for both me and my brother to go to private high school.   Consider time.   I will swerve from lane to lane to arrive at my destination a few minutes earlier, but I insist on making all of my deposits in the bank, rather than at the ATM, because I trust it more.   I only mind waiting in lines at certain establishments.   Consider water.   We install low-flow shower heads and turn off the water when we brush out teeth, but all the water we save in a year is wasted by farmers in a day.   Subsidized water means it pays to be wasteful and watering at noon (like they do along the 5 [freeway]) means heavy evaporation.   [Can anyone tell I was heavily involved in environmental issues?   I feel so preachy.]   It is all relative.   As Einstein said, sit next to a pretty girl and an hour seems like a minute, but sit on a hot stove and a minute seems like an hour.

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Tuesday
19May98

11:23 pm
I awoke at seven today to ensure that my baby got breakfast and was a bit relaxed before his eight am final.   Major massage time.   After eating I went back to bed until 10:30.   When I realized that He was still taking his final I was saddened.   Finals only come in horribly inconvenient times.   The 8 - 11 am final means you have to wake up early and you get no pre-final studying.   This time slot is Cindy's favorite.   The 12:30 - 3:30 pm final is conveniently located during lunch time.   Eating beforehand ensures that you will be sufficiently drowsy.   I prefer this final slot because you have time to dawdle in the morning.   I am sure that everyone agrees that the 5 - 8 pm final is the worst.   This one completely interferes with everyone's dinner.   You ruin the entire day stressing and not studying productively.   This will be the time of my final on Friday.   Yes, Friday evening I will be scribbling like mad to get my film noir final finished.   Cindy finishes on Thursday, while He has the last possible final: Saturday 12:30 - 3:30.   Cindy and I are having a small party Saturday evening and I am hoping to head for LA on Sunday.   Driving on Monday (Memorial Day) is out of the question and my brother is winning an award Tuesday morning.   I am really hoping to make the ceremony.

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Monday
18May98

1:57 pm
I had my Astro final today and I was fuming.   It covered a slew of material that was not on the study sheet.   This 700 person class had every single student complaining outside.   I then went to pick-up my moon project to find that they had not been graded.   We got either ok, good, or excellent.   I got a good, which I am guessing corresponds to a B.   The point is, I feel that these actions reflect how little the teachers care about the class.   Berkeley is a wonderful school, but one of the problems with a research university is that you get some professors who are only professing because they are required to; they are only interested in their research.   They are getting paid to teach and I really think they should apply themselves to that profession in addition to their research.   Of course, I would prefer to be at a research university (and hence I am) because the professors are much more up to date with occurrences in their respective fields.   We get so much of the cutting edge material here; I am just disappointed by a few professors who clearly have no interest in their students.

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Sunday
17May98

4:21 pm
I am physically and emotionally depressed.   All I want to do is sleep.   Studying is not an inviting activity.   Part of this low feeling is because I have been getting no exercise lately.   All I want to do is watch movies.   I finished mending His pjs and boxers and in general I feel like major domestic woman.   Last night I made Charroset (apples, walnuts, cinnamon, and sweet red wine) and I stuffed myself.   I enjoyed the same for lunch today.   I promised to take Him out to an expensive Italian dinner tonight.   He has spent the afternoon studying, while I napped for an hour.

Actually, getting my bum to work has helped to pull me out of my funk a bit, but I really need to start studying for my final tomorrow to feel really good about myself.   I have a horrible habit which I will never understand; I sometimes set myself up to fail.   I let things go for so long that there is no way to bail myself out.   What has been amazing for me is to learn that He does the same thing -- only much worse than I do.   I at least pass, even if I mess up an A.   He doesn't make it through a few classes every semester.   I never knew there were other people like that.

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Saturday
16May98

11:09 pm
We slept in and I have felt tired all day.   I have a headache from being stationary for so long.   Now that my dance class is over I am falling apart.   I have gotten less exercise this semester than any other since I can to Berkeley.   I am not sure how people survive not getting any exercise.   At least, as students, we march around campus all day.   But that certainly is not enough.   And now is the time when my body will decide how to process food and fat for the rest of my life.   I feel silly because I was blessed by being thin but I still cannot manage to get my body fit.   Dance helps, but I know that one really needs weight training -- in addition to a healthy diet and aerobic exercise -- to have a trim body.   He has been suggesting that we work out at the school gym this summer.   I would love to do that; I only enjoy working out with someone else.   By myself I feel very uncomfortable.   The Recreational Sports Facility (RSF) is fully of body-conscious men in their early twenties.   Women are scarce in the weight room, opting for the stair-master room, so of course the men stare at any females around.   Being one of maybe four women in a room means you are subjected to a lot of staring.   All this while you are sweaty and unattractive.   And I hate lifting twenty pounds when the man next to me is doing one hundred twenty pounds.   It just makes me uncomfortable.   I told one of my Women's Studies professors how I felt and she, much to my relief, said she felt exactly the same and had joined an all women's gym.

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Friday
15May98

9:29 am
I went to His place last night and we stayed up late watching The Fifth Element.   This morning he dawdled before driving me home and I was fuming.   I don't think that I ask a lot and we have specifically discussed the issue of him driving me home in the morning.   It embarrasses me to be late, especially to work, and He is the only thing that ever makes me late.   It drives me nuts.   Anyway, when I got home I rushed inside and I was so upset I, I started crying when my roommate got flustered with me; or perhaps I was flustered with her.   Regardless, my landlord is coming over this morning and I have no idea what he is going to do in my apartment with neither of us there.   I find it interesting that the word apartment has the word apart in it and is quite similar to compartment.

12:49 pm
This shift is dragging and, while I am looking forward to the weekend, I see studying for finals looming before my eyes.   I have just been told I have a meeting to attend at one, which postpones my lunch and my attempt to get a happier computer.

10:53 pm
Tonight we rented Dream with the Fishes.   Nothing delights me more than curling up in front of the TV and watching a movie with Him.   I feel that I can somehow shut out the swirling stress that is emanating from the campus; finals began today.   Cindy's first one is tomorrow and there have been and endless stream of her fellow civil engineering students in the house studying.

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Thursday
14May98

11:44 am
My computer died a firey death yesterday -- well, there was no fire...   But, unfortunately, my computer has officially bit the dust. The power supply is fried, so the processor won't even start up.   The fan does not spin; nothing.   I am going to have to put on my sweetest voice to call the place where I got it and hopefully get a new one.   I will settle for a new power supply, but if I had my druthers I would get the whole unit replaced, and just move my hard drive from the old one to the new one.   I seriously doubt I can talk them into that.   I don't even know if this problem is what has been causing difficulties from the start, but I am guessing that it is.   A bad power supply would definitely account for the drive crash I had.   My co-worker Nate just told me life is not about being easy, it is about being right.   Food for thought...

3:44 pm
I am hungry since I missed lunch (I had one job from 10 - 12 and the other from 12-4). I am looking forward to a nice tortilla filled with Spanish rice and salsa.   Thinking about it is making me hungrier.   Sometimes I am shocked by how unproductive I can be.   I guess everyone needs to take a break sometime.

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Wednesday
13May98

3:07 pm
I have had the pleasure of staying in all day today.   This is the first day I can remember this semester that my calendar has been completely free.   He and I came to his place last night to make potato-leek soup and watch Monty Python's Life of Brian.   I only have two finals left in this semester and am counting the days till they are done.   Things are really looking up.   I miss my family and am very much looking forward to going home.

This morning I was delighted to be able to sleep late.   We ate cereal while watching Tomorrow Never Dies on DVD.   I had soup for lunch and am now working on His computer.   I was so tired last night I went to bed before the soup was done cooking, and it was supposed to be our dinner.   I have been loading myself up with work for the summer, but I am excited to have an opportunity to read and explore topics which are of interest to me.   Plus, I will be making my movie!

I got an e-mail saying I did not get the promotion, which -- as I mentioned before -- is not any sort of surprise.   I did, however, get guaranteed work for the summer, so I will be a busy lady.   Yesterday I got a call from my ex, Sam, while I was out.   My mother would tell me not to return the call.   She believes that it is healthy to break ties and never look back.   But I commend his effort to stay in touch and will hopefully speak to him soon.   I will be especially amused if he informs me that he is getting married soon.   I know that he intends to (at least as of our last conversation).   I want to be invited.   That would be fun!

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Monday
11May98

7:36 pm
I spent the morning rushing to get another copy of my movie output.   I am very pleased with my edit, but having output troubles is rather discouraging.   First, the picture was choppy.   This morning's version has a smooth picture, but the sound would not synch.   First I was using movie player 2.5 (since 3.0 does not offer a present mode unless you pay for the upgrade).   Avid's VideoShop caused the unsynched sound.   I also tried presenting out of Adobe Premier, but that was not any more successful.   I am quickly exhausting all of my options.   So I dropped off the second version in my teacher's box with a note promising a third version for the screening tomorrow.   I know what I'll be working on tonight.

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Sunday
10May98

8:52 pm
Today Matthew visited me at work and began work on a new version of his website.   I like the graphics; they are very sharp -- like on a club flyer.   He is having me proof all of his information.   I love to do so and am considering being an editor for some period of time in the future.

After work, two of my film classmates came over to edit their movie, which is due tomorrow (for film noir class).   I was interested in seeing if other people edited differently than I did.   I am sure there are myriad techniques one can employ -- especially with regards to the order in which one proceeds.   The editing took quite a while, as was to be expected.   I left near the end and bought some books at Cody's (mostly about computers and digital filmmaking).   I was glad to help out friends, but I have to scramble to get my movie properly compressed for the screening on Tuesday.

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Saturday
9May98

10:34 pm
My computer decided to be very unhappy today.   It has not been well since I got it -- with intermittent crashes that a new computer just shouldn't have.   Regardless, my computer got very angry today when I tried to install my new RAM and a third nine gig drive.   The ensuing argument (between the computer and humans) lasted for the entire evening.   Matthew spent a good four hours removing everything imaginable (each of my two video cards, the striped drives, the additional drive, the SCZI card, and the RAM).   We moved the RAM to different slots and put the various PCI cards in different slots -- to no avail.   Four hour it took to get a clean boot again with the extensions loaded.   I was quite a mess.

Unfortunately, Matthew was feeling guilty about the problems since he had helped me pick out the components.   I felt that such feelings were unnecessary and unproductive.   One of his friend (Jason) was in town from being abroad and I was glad Matthew could go out with Jason after so much stress and relax a bit.   As for me, I get to go to bed early!.

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Friday
8May98

6:53 pm
I have become totally engrossed in a book exploring structuralism and post-structuralism.   I was especially impressed by the ideas of Ferdinand de Saussure (1857-19130).   He believed that, in language, words are defined as not being other words.   The book I am reading, Structuralism and Poststructuralism For Beginners, gives the example of the word bat.   Bat is defined as not being bet, bit, bot (bought), or but.   It is also not mat, fat, cat, sat, hat, vat, or pat.

This concept of negation struck me as paralleling film noir.   What defines noir as a genre is its function of not being any of the other genres.   The negative defines noir.   No other genre is characterized as being doomed from the beginning.   No other genre -- not even horror -- is so fond of killing off the protagonist.   Other genres are happy (comedy and some romance, drama, and melodrama) or reach some sort of positive resolution in the conclusion (such as Gone With the Wind).   But a noir character is usually dead at the end of the narrative -- the story being told in flashback.   The resolution usually depicts a bleak world where action is futile and the characters have fallen through no fault of their own.

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Thursday
7May98

9:53 am
I just had a promotional interview.   It went well but there is only one spot for ten applicants and I haven't been here that long.   Additionally, rumor has it that the interviews are just a formality.   Some applicants were upset claiming the entire process to be a waste of their time.   It is only one hour to interview (plus a bit of stress) so I did not find the process too horrible.   I consider it good practice for my future interviews.   I am finishing my movie today -- at least the nine minute version.   I will probably make a longer (15 minute?) version before the semester ends.   At nine minutes I feel I cannot include all of the material I want to.   What I like so much about my movie is that Cindy gives all of the information about her within the footage that I would want to give.   I had originally thought that I would have to type information onto the screen, but she says all of the important things.   I also love the way my music plays during the opening credits -- the cut is just perfect.   It feels good when artistic endeavors work out.   I have only two finals left and then I am a senior!

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Wednesday
6May98

9:14 am
The great countdown to the end of the semester has begun.   I am going to study for my Satgecraft final now and I will be editing this evening -- after a two hour staff meeting in which I will take a lengthy aptitude test. This morning I got called ma'am for the first time, by some woman wondering if I was a graduate student.   The graduate student instructors (GSIs) are considering striking (yet again).   I look seventeen -- max -- and found it very amusing to be asked if I was a grad student when most people mistake me for a freshman.

I had a nice stir-fried veggie dinner with Him last night but my appetite has really plummeted.   He makes my life so much easier.   He knows I am stressed so he did the dishes last night when I was exhausted and he brought me breakfast in be this morning.   I have gotten over my Rice Krispies obsession and I am now eating Post Raisin Bran religiously.   Do other people eat in cycles?

1:57 pm
My final was a breeze and I cannot remember why I stressed so much (oh yes, it was the stinky grade on the last exam in that class).   I love watching the semester draw to a close.   I am enjoying evaluating all of my classes.

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Tuesday
5May98

11:20 am
Last Tuesday of the semester!   I had a wonderful dinner with Him and His dad last night.   I absolutely stuffed myself at my favorite Chinese restaurant.   I am concerned about how his father perceives me; of course, I want to make a good impression.   It was really wonderful to be so relaxed and to have the conversation flowing.   I felt so good at the end of the evening.   His dad seemed to really enjoy himself.

7:12 pm
After a full day of classes I am glad He is coming over to cook dinner with me.   My appetite is still sluggish so I am hoping to get a fair amount of food in me this evening.   I was glad I managed to eat so much last night.  I have been furiously editing and am pleased with my progress.   I have my first final tomorrow and am looking at an evening of studying.   This will be my worst final (stagecraft) and I am delighted at the prospect of getting it over with early on.   It consists of straight memorization -- one of my worst skills.   I often wonder if I am only bad at memorization because I think I am.   Ah, a good old psychosomatic disability...

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Monday
4May98

10:34 am
I went to His softball game in the rain last night and got his team winning the championship on tape.   I like this ability to document life as it happens and I hope to exploit it further when I acquire my digital camera.   This activity meant that I stayed up way too late, but it was really fun, and it meant a lot to Him.   Ben is borrowing my video-8 camera and he stopped by while Matthew was over watching me edit.   Ben and Matthew got into an involved discussion on cellular and digital phone service.   They crack me up!   I also had a long discussion with my dad yesterday evening about all sorts of good topics.   I am giving him my PC.   I have to convince him to take the monitor too so that I have an excuse to buy a new one.

Today I had to return the equipment from the art opening, which was quite heavy.   Matthew was a total sweetheart and helped me carry things; I would not have been able to do it by myself.   I was only slightly irked that carrying such materials across campus was assigned to me.   I will be heavily involved in editing for the rest of the week, and I have my first final on Wednesday.

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Sunday
3May98

3:50 pm
It has been a frantic work shift of fixing computers.   I volunteered to test Berkeley's new mail client (IMAP rather than POP) and I was trying to configure a program (Mulberry) that apparently had some bugs in it.   When I finally had entered all of my settings the program crashed when I tried to save.   Very frustrating!   I will not be using that program again.   I will instead give Netscape 4 a go at it.   I have been working all weekend on my documentary about my roommate, and editing is well underway.   I have decided to call it Nine Minutes in the Kitchen with Cindy. I am so impressed by the technology that allows my to editing non-linearly, in real time, on equipment that I can afford on my salary (well, sort of).   But as the mail client illustrates, though the technology offers many abilities which are not available in traditional filmmaking and editing, the technology is subject to normal computer functions.   A crash can mean a serious loss of data or work.   Regardless, I like to think that my film career is taking off!

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Saturday
2May98

11:24 am
He and I were discussing the more bizarre aspects of science, or rather, how scientific understanding perverts our supposed knowledge of the world.   For example, take a pair of scissors.   If you put one hand on the plastic handle and one hand on the metal part, you would say they were different temperatures.   But they aren't.   They have been sitting in the same room together all day.   The metal part feels cold because it draws more heat from your hand.   This level of understanding leads to a bizarre way of looking at the world.   Objects never actually touch because they are separated by a thin layer of electron shells.   But our perception tells us that such objects are touching.   I believe myself to be sitting in this chair but I am actually riding just above it.   The reason this topic is of interest to me is because I wonder if science causes us to be more disconnected from the physical world rather while trying to understand it better.   Science causes us to distrust our perceptions of the world.   My film noir teacher always talks about the shock of living in our society and how traumatic traffic was before there were streetlights to help one cross the road.   But science must also be a shock in its destruction of the way were initially see our surroundings.

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Friday
1May98

9:48 am
For reasons unbeknownst to me, I confused myself and arrived at work fifteen minutes early today.   The absurd thing about it is that I was very stressed about being late.   I do not know why I am such a spaz about being on time.   I haven't finished my homework for the day, so I feel even more idiotic.   Such is life...

12:43 pm
I was able to get my homework completed in the few minutes before class but I think it will be counted late and that really irks me.   I pride myself on never being late; and I haven't been so once this semester (to class, to work, or turning in homeworks).   I cannot believe that next week is the last week of classes.   Thankfully, my parents are in agreement when I address how quickly my life is flying by.   I think of my future plans in years, and the next decade is when it all happens.   I will have to decide about my continuing education, my career, and my marital status.   My flavor of the week -- school wise -- is Stanford's documentary program.   My mom told me that it is good that I recognize that I change my mind a lot.   I know that I come across as flighty, but I think that is because I get so excited about things.   As soon as I here about a new program or opportunity, I want to be involved.