Begin at the Bottom
_________________ 4:16 pm
Sunday
30June98
I am at work with a splitting headache because I got no sleep last night.
I got in bed early but it took me over an hour to fall asleep,
which is one of the more frustrating phenomena in life. I got woken
up at 2 am when He finally crawled into bed
after playing Gran Turismo on His PlayStation for at least four hours (while I worked). I woke
up some time later (around 3) when he was talking in his sleep and again
at 4:30 when the street cleaners were buzzing through the streets.
I woke up again some time after 6 am when Cindy dragged herself into the shower; she works early in the
morning. I finally got out of bed and got my work finished up.
I dragged him to two more nurseries, where I picked up even more
succulents. I had a blaze of inspiration last night, while thumbing
through my Sunset
Western Garden Book, and I am considering making a log of my plants
online. I have been planning on photographing them anyway.
And I would want to research the care of my 19 little succulents.
For example, there are pages which list good succulent info. I was also
wondering how to make a useful file that displays what fonts look like.
All I can come up with is a hypercard type of recipe book of fonts.
I think I can use a little stand-alone file called Museum to make
what I want.
_________________
Monday
29June98
1:21 pm
Back at work with the kiddies. They have gotten into the swing of
class and don't need me very much any more. My man has again joined
me at work. After our day of nursery hopping, I have a total of 17
small succulents. I told my mom, and she said she had been
succulent shoping the very same day.
Someone left an outline of a lecture (?) on netiquette. My work created a site on how to not be a Netjerk. I find the whole idea of netiquette to be amusing because it is all opinion. I believe that one should delete unnecessary headers and signatures when replying to or forwarding e-mail (as does the author of this document) but others might disagree. There is no official guide to net-behavior -- no Miss Manners of the internet.
I have been looking at garlic
online thanks to a link from Karlyn. I had the sheer delight of
a visitor here at work today. Susie stopped by -- the first time I
have seen her since she went away to Spain for a semester abroad. I
must get out of this country soon. I want to see the world more
than most anything else. I am having great difficulty figuring out
how to balance travel, career, and grad school when I look to my future.
But if this is my biggest problem, I know I am doing well...
_________________
Sunday
28June98
8:34 am
I just got off the phone with my mother. She observed, along with
my father, that I am happier than I have been in a long time. I am
mostly trying to appreciate how good my life is. The other night,
while driving back to his place, I enticed him to pull off the road on one
of the gorgeous turn outs, which overlook the bay. We discussed
how the lights appear to move due to the atmosphere and what we were going
to do the next day. As we stood there clinging to each other in the
darkness I asked him if he knew how lucky we are. He was full of
appreciation also. We glowed.
_________________
Saturday
27June98
12:56 pm
It has been a lazy morning of laying in bad and watching Greta Garbo in Inspiration.
I, at least, got a chunk of my web work done. We ran into a
rut yesterday about whose house to go to. He always wants to be
here (at his place), but since I never go home, my room has become a
dumping ground for my things, and as such, is a total pig sty. I
told him I didn't mind going to his place and he said that I was being
hurtful because my saying that made him feel like I was more will to
sacrafice for him than he for me. It is a no win situation.
I really don't mind being here all the time, even when my roommate complains. I just don't want to
bug his housemates and I want a chance to clean up my room. I don't
think that is too much to ask.
We are planning on going to Macy's today after a trip to the nursery, where I will surely pick up some new succulents. All I asked was for a chance to shower. But if we are going to the city, I intend to visit my favorite vegan restaurant: Now and Zen.
_________________
Thursday
25June98
|
1:08 pm 2:44 pm |
I made this creation last week using Adobe
Photoshop. I can't wait for the next version to come out.
Photoshop is probably the program I use most frequently. I
make all of my web graphics with it. Anyway, what was of interest
to me about this square thing that I made was how I made it. I used
a palatte of web colors (so it will look the same on all machines) and I
made ovrlapping suares, which I offset from each other. The
background layer is yellow, with a pink-red sqare over it. The
yellow square I laid on top of that almost completely covers it, and then
I put a blue sqare on top of that. I am struck by how different the
process of creation is for something like this as opposed to painting on a
canvas. Each field has its pros and cons, but people really
underestimate the great uses of digital paint.
|
_________________
Tuesday
23June98
1:24 pm
I have been working since 9:45 and I am exhausted. The computer
center has been in a total frenzy and people are getting rude. No
one likes to wait. There is a fire in the building across the
street; I don't just mean a fire alarm, I mean I closed the windows
because it reeked of smoke. I have so much work to do that I will
be working again as soon as I get home.
Cindy and I are on completely opposite schedules and she actually seems upset that she never gets to see me. I do not quite understand why she feels that I should make some sort of effort to see her, especially when she does not do the same.
_________________
Monday
22June98
2:44 pm
The plane ride back to Berkeley was
uneventful and I was simply glad to see his face smiling at me when I got
off the plane. I read the whole time, until my eyes hurt (probably
because I have taken to wearing my glasses again) and tended to the ten
baby succulents I brought back with me. One of the women working at
LAX was displeased when I would not allow her to x-ray my little planties,
but they were greatful and will show their gratitude by growing strong.
We had to hurry from the airport to pick-up some breakfast before I
needed to be at work. Now I am again watching the highschool
kiddies do their thing.
3:26 pm
Matthew just pointed me towards A web
page which explains the stop motion that is currently all the rage in
commercials and TV shows. He had suggested I use the technique
in my movie. Of course, I have to get a camera first, and I am
running out of time. i consider myself to have one month left:
July, since I will be out of town in August. Of course I will
continue working during school.
_________________
Sunday
21June98
Father's Day
12:14 am
My brother got home from his new job as a bus boy at eleven. I had
a treat waiting for him, and we watched the end of Orlando on TV
while he munched away. I have popped online to check my e-mail,
and write a quick romantic note to Him, but I really long to burry myself
beneath my covers and read some more.
2:31 pm
My brother and father came here to my mother's this morning after their
customary Sunday morning basketball game in the valley. My mother
made vegan pancakes for the lot of us and
we had to ration the small amount of syrup that we had available.
After breakfast we turned to the gifts. Both my parents give
extravagently, especially during the winter holiday, and I have apparently picked up this trait. We did a
joint father's day - birthday celebration
and my mother joked that it was sexist that
only the men got to open gifts. After the gifts had been opened, my father set about to do errands for my mother,
as is the tradition when he visits our house. He had brought his
toolkit, and as he got to work beneath the sink, I set about to install
the new floppy drive for my mother's computer. My brother completely lacks the fix-it genes which
course through my father's and my veins. I love to have my hands
inside a piece of machinery. I am completely fascinated by computer
guts.
_________________
Saturday
20June98
10:17 pm
I had the horror, while channel surfing today, of learning that there are
X-Files Barbie dolls for sale on QVC.
_________________ 11:04 pm My mother and brother arrived early to my dad's house and we set off
for the Third Street Promenade. After a bit of shooping and a few
birthday purchases by my brother we headed to the movie theater.
People had begun lining up an hour early to see The X-Files Movie.
We joined the troops, and at eleven we were comfortably seated in a
theater chock full of die-hard fans who had come to the first showing of
the day. The film was entertaining, thought best described as a
regular X-Files episode with better special
effects. the two major discrepencies in the film were: if the bomb
was to cover up evidence, why call the bomb threat in to the wrong
building? and how did Scully get pants and shoes
(!!!) when Mulder rescued
her from the alien ship? But the continuity was not so bad and I
was entertained to say the least. It is fun to watch a movie in a
theater full of fans.
Friday
19June98
Adam's Birthday
I fell asleep after a good heavy read last night. I love a book
that engrosses me, and I was exceedingly taken by Le Guin's brief essay
which preceeds her story. I am next going to attempt to tackle
The Sound and the Fury.
_________________
Thursday
18June98
3:34 pm
At seven this evening I will be on a plane to LA for my brother's birthday
and for Father's Day. As a result, I was up late last night and
early this morning getting a solid chunk of work done. My brother
called just before I left for the office to let me know that he had to
cancel on picking me up at the airport because he needed to take a friends
shift at his new job as a bus boy. He felt really guilty and I had
to empathise. I would feel the same way, and I told him not to
worry about it. I can take a cab, and the guy who had the shift to
fill said he would pay for my cab. It's not that bad. And my
man will take me to the airport. He pointed out that today is our
eight month anniversary.
9:46 pm
As a total surprise, my dad cancelled his gin game and picked me up at the
airport. Thought he had seen me recently, he was ready again for
the update on my life, which included report of my best grades ever.
We headed home so he could eat, though I was stuffed -- having
brought a veritable feast on the plane with me. I sat next to a
jovial woman -- large and red in the face. When she instructed me
to put on my seatbelt, I asked if she was a mother. She is.
She told me about her 13-year-old daughter (just entering the throes of
adolescence) and her six-year-old son. She commented on my
pretzelly way of sitting and the health of the food I had brought with me.
She ordered a bloody mary and laughed out loud at the articles in
the in-flight magazine. I tried to read my current sci-fi fling:
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin. I cannot
imagine going on a plane ride without some sort of reading material.
What a waste of an hour.
_________________
Wednesday
17June98
|
1:15 pm I have taken to sending letters with no city written in. With the street address and nine digit zip code (attainable online at The US Postal Service's ZIP+4 Code Lookup) any package can easily find its destination. I was delighted that this habit has caught on. When I last ordered RAM, I was only asked for my street address and zip. The world is changing... 3:05 pm 4:08 pm 4:39 pm |
_________________
Tuesday
16June98
|
12:45 pm 1:50 pm |
_________________
Monday
15June98
|
4:19 pm I have been reevaluating the merits of writing a diary, especially an online one. I thought writing on a regular basis -- no matter how informally -- would improve my writing skills, but it seems harder for me to whip out essays and journal entries for classes. My words don't flow like they used to. My mom does not like me doing this and my dad considers it a whim [how many months later?], but I find it to be an aspect of my life I am rather attached to. Somehow, I no longer feel I am in the experimental stage. I know how people will react and how my words effect my interpersonal relationship. I know how much I am willing to reveal. I have never read anyone else's journal online and I somehow delude myself into thinking they are all about drugs, sex, and depression. I only enjoy one of the previous activities, and I don't write about sex because I am concerned with how others percieve me in that area of life. I do not want to be look upon as a slut, and I certainly do not want to get e-mail from some scary idiot telling me I am a sinner for having sex before I am married. I know in my heart that it is absurd to care what strangers think of me -- people whom I will never meet and with whom I do not share the same system of values -- but I have always cared. I have always been genuinely concerned when I felt I had hurt someone online. I have cried because of things people typed to me (though not in years) and I wonder if that is the reason that I no longer MOO or chat online. I am pleased to be more grounded in the real world but I still enjoy proliferating my web presence. |
_________________
Saturday
13June98
11:23 pm
He was gone when I got home yesterday and I
spent the evening alone, wrapped heavily in the silence of my apartment. My mind was spinning
and I wanted so much to write -- to spill oceans of ink exploring where I
am in life and how I feel -- but rather I spent my precious alone hours
reading. I grabbed The Sound and the Fury off the shelf but
then opted for a sci-fi classic to ease my way back into avid readership.
I always have a funny feeling when I am adjusting to being alone.
Most people feel the need to fill their space with music, or to
reach out and touch someone with the phone. But I know these draws
are there and as such I avoid doing either activity. I never get
around to cleaning, as I inevitably plan, but this time I felt the need
for some ritual. I craved some affimation of the self: a foot bath
or a face mask. I wanted to be spoiled. I read instead, but
in my mind I lit candles and meditated. I was drawn into the world
of Octavia Butler's Dawn, not because it was so technically
believable, but because she wrote it with such clarity of vision.
This novel was an assignment in my freshman year English class which
focused on sci-fi literature and which sparked my interest in MOOs. I am not sure if I read
the novel at the time -- if I did it was with a sort of half-interest
which prevented all but vague detail from entering into my memory.
Now I am once again engrossed.
Snow Crash is by far my favorite piece of sci-fi literature. I read it for my freshman year English class, and could not put it down from the moment I picked it up until I had inhaled the last sentance. I lost a lot of sleep that weekend.
_________________
Friday
12June98
4:19 pm
He is asleep in my bed and I am in the office. I was very proud
when my boss asked me to redesign the web site for my job. But he is not a wonderful client,
which I actually told him. His slow in giving me material,
critiquing, and enumerating what he wants. I adore him as a person,
but he seems so over-extended to be handling so many projects.
Regardless, I have been working my butt off to get this done. We
change the graphic scheme every day and the navigation needs to be
rethought before anything else happens.
I adore the idea of Him laying in my bed, waiting for me at home. I know I have a gift waiting for me: Him. Cindy is out of town (camping with her mother), so I wanted to savor having the apartment to myself with Him. I suppose I do not enjoy being alone so much as I used to. But I enjoy being alone with him more than most anything else. I love our conversations together, even though he gets quite defensive when I bring up any concerns about our relationship. I love knowing how he will react to me -- to my myriad questions. I know he will get embarassed everytime I bring up masturbation, frustrated at the mention of money, delighted at a hint of sex. I know he values being told he is intelligent much more than being told he is attracted, and the former will make him quite embarassed indeed. One might think that I take a sick pleasure in having such a controll over him, but I rather see it as a love of knowing him so intimately -- and him knowing me as such.
_________________
Thursday
11June98
4:38 pm
I had a meeting at work and I am still at the office scrambling to get the
work done so that I can put a site online today [URL to follow]. I
am in a much better mood today. I feel wonderful after enjoying a
stuffing dinner of fruit (red apple, green pear, underripe peach, two red
bananas, mango, and strawberries). All this while watching a movie
with my man. He said we had to figure out how we could eat fruit,
drink wine, and watch movies for a living. I suggested Siskel &
Ebert.
5:45 pm
He had a gift certificate to Blockbuster, so we went last night
and rented three films, all of which had to be returned today. We
watched In
the Company of Men last night. My mom has been wanting to
see it because one of the stars has a disability. But He hated it
and I am sure my mom will too. I, on the other hand, loved it; I
found it to provide fascinating insight into the relationships of men.
He asked why I thought the characters were realistic, since they
were so cruel, but I found the young star to be startlingly like my first
boyfriend. I was too tired to watch a second film last night so we
had to save both Deconstructing Harry and Boogie Nights for this
morning. I was impressed by Woody Allen's film since I
find that he tends to make the same film over and over. However, while I
was incredibly impressed by Mark Wahlberg's performance as Dirk Diggler
in Boogie
Nights, I did not especially enjoy the film. There is no
entertainment for me in watching drugs and porn destroy the lives of many.
Plus, it was long.
6:10 pm
I missed a meeting for work today, but I was swamped with other work
stuff. I guess I am out of the habit of juggling. I will say
one thing, I love Berkeley when all of the
students are gone! I am going to head home so I can eat and give a
call to my dear friend Ben who is spending the summer on the east coast.
_________________
Wednesday
10June98
3:05 pm
I am at the office. He and I trooped all over campus looking at
grade postings -- his grades. I don't mind waiting another week
till I can call and get them by phone or on the web with my GPA calculated
and everything. Grades are rather stressful, especially when so
much rides on them. I only need mine if I apply to grad school; I
just have to keep them high enough to graduate with honors.
I have a belly ache -- must be from not eating lunch. Sometimes I feel sick when I feel I am not being treated well; I feel that way now. Thankfully, I do not have to do any more work for that office. And I have so many other activities to keep me busy. I need to start my reading frenzy; when I am into a good book I can do nothing but read.
I really do not like when people turn down requests that would not harm them in any way. Some people clearly have the need to exercise their power just for the heck of it. I personally don't see the point, but I guess if they have nothing going on in their lives then they have to get their kicks from being cruel to others. I think that what I just wrote sounds unnescessarily negative and whiny. Yes, some people are idiots, but lots of people are great and I surround myself with people I love. I have a fantastic life and I have the luxury of getting out of situations which I find unpleasant. I do try to be appreciative of all that I have. I am so fortunate.
_________________
Tuesday
9June98
10:31 pm
He and I went out for Chinese with His
housemate Josh. It was lovely, even though the waiter made fun of
me for going there so often and always getting the same thing. I
know what I like! The conversation was flowing. He teased me
because I asked Josh so many questions... but people like to talk about
themselves, and I like to listen. If I don't ask questions I end up
talking the whole time. Afterwards, I watched The
Witches of Eastwick and I was entertained. The Internet Movie DataBase has it listed as a
film in the vomit genre.
I finally managed to drag my computer to my apartment and set it up with a 12 gague power cord so that the power supply does not fry again. I had to borrow a monitor since I gave mine to my dad and I have not managed to get one of my own yet. My man has been convincingly nudging me to get a 19 inch or so and with to volume of usage I will be putting on it the idea makes a lot of sense. I have been perusing such sites as Deal-Mac looking for something cheap and good, but a friend says he got a decent refurbished 20 inch monitor for $600 and I haven't seen anything close to that on the web.
_________________
Monday
8June98
7:29 pm
I thought my errands would be an incredible burden, but without school it
was easy to dedicate a day to getting things done. I got packages
in the mail (computer parts needing to be returned) and took care of the
bills (everything is in my name and I just write Cindy a total for the month and she writes me
a check). He and I went to Fry's
Electronics -- two of them actually. He allowed me to increase his
storage capacity by purchasing a few extra drives. Aparently he was
able to overcome his guilt when I buy him things long enough for four hard
drives to make their way into his computer. We were late getting
back so I did not have to meet his ex when she came to pick up the dog.
I was glad. I could have handled it, but it wasn't my
preference. We had a bit of a discussion about it with both of us
concluding that we did not care if I met her. I am still not sure
that I believe him. We picked up Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the
Bomb on DVD and
The
Witches of Eastwick on video, in addition to Need For Speed III
for His Sony PlayStation.
I absolutely adore Dr. Strangelove
and was glad to introduce my man to such a bizarre classic. I could
watch movies and eat and do nothing else for many months. I guess
that is what summer is for.
_________________
Sunday
7June98
9:43 pm
My mom made me watch X-Files and I
have developed a theory that Mulder's name being Fox is a
tongue-in-cheek poke at the station Fox,
which broadcasts the show. How much more media-aware can you get?
I noticed the same thing when I watched a silly movie called Prisoner
of Zenda, Inc. William
Shatner [I have just discovered the First Church of
Shatnerology] was in the film and the star (an adolescent male) had a
barage of Star Trek paraphanalia, including a captain's uniform which he
wore as PJs. At one point his sweetheart asked him if he was
supposed to be Kirk or Picard.
This is the last day of the dog. He is cute and I am probably going to miss him (though not his smell). I did not have the energy to do much of anything today. The weather is so cool and Berkeley is empty. We ate leftovers and watched movies on TV -- nothing of interest. I have not been scheduled for work at all this week so I can pretty much make my own hours. I have barely begun to unpack and I have a dozen errands to do so the week will be busy regardless. I made a modest list of things to do and I will eventually have to begin returning my calls (ugg).
_________________
Saturday
6June98
11:27 pm
We immediately went to see The
Truman Show after I showered yesterday, though the show we tried
to make was sold out. I have not been to a movie on opening night
in ages. I love the buzz of excitement. Movies are such a
fantastically fascinating aspect of our society. Film is such a
powerful medium. Since we had to wait for a later show, we (Him,
his housemate Tom, and I) went to a nice Japanese restaurant (Yoshi's at Jack London Square) and
though we were inappropriately attired, we had a lovely meal. The
movie was decent, but I expected so much more from it -- a fatal flaw with
regards to Hollywood films. I was especially interested in how
Merril adjusted to life off the show. That would have been an
interesting aspect of the story to follow. Speaking of which, I
need to get cracking on my screenplay. I have been a bum all day.
We went shopping today at various hardware, discount, computer and
grocery stores. We bought a ton of food to enjoy for dinner and he
did most of the cooking because I was somehow exhausted (even though we
did not do anything strenuous today). We made garlic mashed
potatoes and Italian greenbeans; he also cooked chicken in citrus marinade
for himself. When the food was finally ready, he was not hungry.
He had not eaten all day and I am worried he is not well. He
slept in late again today (I think it was eleven hours this time) and I
asked him to eat a little bit just for me. I, of course, stuffed
myself with braised tofu (the only kind of tofu I like), chips and garlic
salsa, and ginger ale. I had not had soda in ages. At least
it was caffeine free.
_________________
Friday
5June98
6:39 pm
The drive back to Beserkeley was rather uneventful.
Unfortunately, His car has no air conditioning, so I will be in a rather
iritable mood until I am able to take a shower and relax. I picked up His
phone while he was adding oil at some gas station along the five, and it was his ex.
He has to orchestrate the drop off of the dog -- who he is dog-sitting for the
weekend. This would be the dog that they got together when they lived
together. Bugsy is their dog. She got to keep the dog when He
moved out, but He will be watching Bugsy while she is out of town this weekend.
I love dogs so I am not looking on this as a horrible experience, but the less
I think about her [the dreaded ex], the happier I am. My parents had a dog
before they had me and I have seen the photos. A dog is a child in any
relationship, and I do find it disconcerting that He talks to His dog about
"mom" and refers to himself as dad. Yes, this does bother me
somewhat and I will not pretend that it does not. How am I supposed to act in
this situation? In addition, he called me by her name. I know he has
been worried about this moment for ages and it was not that big of a deal to me.
Rachel and Michelle are not so far off from each other and he called her by my
name when talking to his mom many months ago. But compounded with the dog, I
feel like spending the night at my place tonight. I need some time to myself,
and we have been together an awful lot of late.
_________________
Thursday
4June98
11:00 am
I just finished watching a movie on TV. Before it began, Showtime made an error this
morning and began showing their ads consecutively. About 15 of them
ran, one after another, each about thirty seconds. One was for
radio, so only the audio channel was broadcast. Several were shown
in English and then Spanish. It was quite fascinating. They
would use the same material edited in different fashions with different
music. And I really got a feel for the target audience as this
happened. I was especially amused by Showtime's new slogan: "No
limits." Way to take the broadcast of movies too seriously!
He is still asleep in my bed. He spent the night because it got too late for me to drive him home. We had a nice, lazy, pizza-filled night last night. When I woke up this morning I found a ring on the microwave. My mom said she had found it in the middle of the living room floor about three weeks ago. She said she thought it had come from a ghost. I lost this ring a year ago; I thought I lost it in my apartment up north. I obtained it many years ago. My family was renting a house on the shore of Long Beach Island in New Jersey. We found the fourteen karat gold wedding ring in the cusions of the couch, and although we reported it to the rental company, it was never claimed. The ring is gorgeous, and fits me perfectly, but I mostly like it for the stories it conjures in my mind. Why did the wedding ring come off and why was it never claimed?
12:12 pm
While he works on his thirteenth hour of sleep I am back to my ring.
When I first lost it I tried to tell myself I was never meant to
have it. It was found and then lost again -- only to be in my life
for a brief time. But I missed the ring; I love it very much.
I searched for it thouroughly (though apparently not in the correct
location). I used to fantasize that I would have a ring made to
match it and I would keep it for my wedding ring, giving the twin to my
husband. In highschool I wore it on my ring finger and told
flirtatious men that I was married. And like all my rings, it has a
story to it. I vow to take better care this time and keep a
watchful eye on my precious ring.
_________________
Wednesday
3June98
5:12 pm
I am at His place, where I stayed last night after I drove him home.
I hope his family is not too sick of me. I had a rather
embarassing experience this morning (involving a stain) and He was so nice
about it. I feel so blessed to have someone take care of me as He
does. I hope he feels the same about me. I try so hard to be
good to him.
We have been having an ongoing argument about money. I have it and he does not. That is life. I understand that our society says that men are supposed to pay for things, but this notion is absurd. If he had a ton of money, and I did not, he would have no problem spoiling me to death. But the opposite does not work for him. He gets upset when I buy him things (as my last boyfriend did) even though I work hard and make my own decisions about what to spend my money on. I worked three jobs this semester and I think that gives me every right to buy my boyfirend things if I want to. And I am not talking gifts here. But we just a disagreement over money. He will not let me lend (may I restate the word lend) him money for summer school, but he has to go and his mom says they cannot afford it. Why must he be so stubborn? [and why must I?]
10:34 pm
Our argument -- if it can be called that -- was brief, but it gave me a
chance to vent some pent up feelings. I was able to explain to him
how hard it is to be with him every day and to watch him mess up -- how
difficult and painful it is to watch someone I love participate in
self-destructive actions before my eyes. Now I have a better
understanding of how it feels for a parent to watch their child mess up
and be powerless to fix it. If you bug them about it you just push
them away.
_________________
Tuesday
2June98
5:34 pm
I had so many errands to do today. He went to Hawaii for two days
because somebody had an extra ticket. Because I love him, I woke at
the butt crack of dawn and picked him up at the airport. His
flight was supposed to be arriving at 5:15 am but was delayed and hour so
I got an extra hour of sleep. At the airport, his flight was not
listed on the arrival board and I got a bit frantic. I called my
mother and his, in addition to his digital phone (I always want to say
cellular), but was unable to locate him. We wound up finding each
other while we were both wandering and pondering what to do. He
had been waiting for me further up than I had been waiting for him, but I
was afraid to drive too far because that would have meant a lengthy trip
around LAX. It
wouldn't have been so bad if this creepy guy hadn't kept staring at me.
At least it all worked out in the end.
So we went to my place and napped for several hours. I got up and had breakfast while he slept further. I need about 8 hours of sleep; I can manage on 7 but 9 are ideal. He, on the other hand, would sleep 12 hours a day if life let him.
When he finally woke up we went to the store and then settled into the couch to watch The Fan. Des stopped by but I was too tired to go to the museum with her. We were planning on seeing some multimedia peice they have on Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Then he went back to sleep and I began packing. We are leaving thursday or friday. I have to see [my friend] Rebecca before she leaves for ten weeks in Israel (as she is doing tomorrow).
_________________
Monday
1June98
12:39 am
My plan to stay up late has worked, but I am now dead tired.
Hopefully I can sleep in late tomorrow and get myself on an appropriate
sleep schedule for summer. I am so glad I did not go out tonight
for I surely would have been dead tired and probably highly unpleasant.
12:39 pm
I missed going to the gym with my father yesterday (I knew I forgot
something) and I hope he is not angry. I love my parents so dearly.
I have been obscenely forgetful since I have come home and I hope
my memory snaps back into action by the time I return up north. I
feel really guilty when I am forgetful, especially when it comes to
people's names. And gifts, I hate getting gifts confused. Is
it really my fault though? I can blame myself. But is it the
actually layout of my brain that makes it difficult for me to retrieve
information or is it a learned behavior? Perhaps it is from my
parents, though via nature or nurture or some combination thereof I do
not know. Will I ever know?