
Begin at the Bottom
_________________
Saturday 31October98
Halloween
2:01 pm
I have been poking around in the Film
Courses offered for next semester. They keep doing time
changes, so I have no idea what overlaps what. I am again looking
at fonts (Mac Font Vault &
Medieval
Fonts), and enjoying a German Art Nouveau page.
Basil referred to herself as the Lady of Shallot and I just found the poem.
3:33 pm
I have been wanting to make a
family tree for quite a while, so I set about to download some software. There are
also such web pages as RootsWeb
(self-described as "The Internet's Oldest and Largest Genealogy
Site") and Cyndi's List of
Genealogy Sites on the Internet which has over 31,300 links. As
one source said:
There are almost as many Web sites and mailing lists
devoted to genealogy as there are to Star Trek, plus Usenet newsgroups
like <alt.genealogy>.
3:59 pm
Halloween isn't really my holiday. I went to the Kappa Sigma
Blacklight party last night (of course, we arrived just as the fire alarm
was going off) but I don't have any plans for this evening. I told
my friend Rebecca I'd drop by her house, but that was about all that I
could come up with for the night. I am at work in my flannel PJs
and robe (again!) and I am lovin' it!
_________________
Friday 30October98
5:55 pm
I am sitting in the office in my PJs and robe; we are having a
pre-Halloween party, and the computer games and PlayStations are in full
effect.
_________________
Thursday 29October98
8:31 pm
Today was a very long day, but thankfully the end is in sight.
_________________
Wednesday 28October98
1:51 pm
My toe is a bit better.. We'll see how it feels after dance class.
I have to decide, in terms of classes, whether to take
screenwriting or intro. to digital video. My life is good.
5:18 pm
I feel like I have all sorts of insightful and interesting observations
about the planet, but whenever I sit down at the computer, I can't bring
them to mind. That was one of the main reasons that I started my
diary -- to capture my fleeting thoughts and theories. And yet here
I am with nothing of value to write.
_________________
Tuesday 27October98
9:59 am
I hurt my toe pretty badly yesterday and am not sure if I will be able to
dance today. Also, my back is bugging me. I am not quite
sure when I fell apart.
5:55 pm
On my way to campus I passed a location which smelled distinctly of wet
dog. It is much too dark for this hour. Why do we have day
light savings? It would seem more logical to put your clock forward
when the days get shorter, since we are a society which has a night life
more than a morning life (ah, the farmers). I ignored my toe and
danced, but it is very unhappy. I am still trying to figure out
what to do my thesis on. i am highly frustrated because today was
my day to register for classes but the listing for film still isn't out.
Why is my department the only one that can't get its act together?
_________________
Monday 26October98
10:20 am
The days are flying. Tomorrow I register for the next semester of
classes -- my last... I made a new
graphic of my name with one of the fonts I downloaded on Saturday. I am downloading a few of my web projects
so that I can make a CD of them as a portfolio. I also have to get
around to revising my résumé one of these days.
My boyfriend has been writing an essay on affirmative action for one of
his classes and we have been having ongoing debates about all sorts of
issues. He is half black and half white and people ask him what
race he is all the time; sometimes they ask me. I find that
bizarre, being white, no one bothers to ask where I'm from. I am
half Russian, one quarter German, and one-quarter Austrio-Hungarian with a
pinch of Irish thrown in by one of my maternal great-great grandmother.
I am now going to go check the progress of my mother's auctions on Ebay.
6:17 pm
I have come into the computer center with Him
to help Him finish up and print His affirmative action essay. I
just looking up some info about Ward Connerly on
the web. I hate the feeling of stress and responsibility I have for
his schoolwork. I feel that I shouldn't get so worked up, but I
cannot make myself detached.
7:51 pm
I have worked in the computer centers for 3 semesters, but until tonight I
had never caught anyone looking at porn on the net. As soon as he
saw that I saw him he immediately scrolled up from the breast picture that
was on the screen. He left a minute later, though I said nothing to
him. The whole situation amused me. Now I have new gossip.
9:35 pm
A client was totally harassing me, but I threatened to call the campus
police. He played it off like it was nothing but he piped down real
quick. The two other male consultants were quick to ask if I needed
help and my boyfriend arrived just a bit ago and offered whatever I need.
It is good to feel so supported.
_________________
Sunday 25October98
1:31 pm
Problems in the computer center, so I dropped by to see if I could help.
I am looking forward to the extra hour of sleep tonight (Day Light
Savings).
_________________
Saturday 24October98
2:46 pm
I haven't gotten much done in the computer center as of late. Hence
the short entries. A lot of things have been breaking and a lot of
people have questions. Today I went searching for (Mac) fonts, and
found exactly what I wanted at Larabie Fonts. I also
got some nice (Mac) materials from Font Addict and Font
Freak. Additionally, I found free fonts*, Freebies free
fonts, Chankstore
Freefonts, Collected
Fonts, and other free stuff. So many free fonts it is difficult to find
something really good!
_________________
Friday 23October98
1:15 pm
I found out yesterday that my graduation is May 12th at 2:00 pm.
Unfortunately, that is before finals...
_________________
Thursday 22October98
9:59 am
Yesterday and today are UC-wide walkout days to support affirmative
action. Of course, none of my classes were cancelled, and I have a
midterm (my last one!) at 12:30.
7:20 pm
I am lost in a sea of decision making about my future. In order
that I can be proud of myself, I will give myself credit for deciding to
graduate next semester and to wait one year before going to grad school.
I am so glad to not be dealing with GREs and applications now.
So, the decision making is in regards to what to take next semester.
_________________
Tuesday 20October98
9:46 am
I am trying to figure out what to take next semester, which involves all
sorts of advisor meetings and shufflings. I am really feeling the
length of my four years here and am looking forward to a change. Is
it wrong for me to be so excited about finishing when I am so privileged
to be here in the first place?
_________________
Monday 19October98
His 23rd Birthday
11:43 am
The schedule of classes has come out for next semester. I am
actually looking forward to writing a senior thesis. My roommate and my
boyfriend will probably be taking a class together. That may
be bizarre. I have been attempting to learn After
Effects and I have completed a little 16 second movie which I will
eventually put on the web...
9:25 pm
I was all excited about putting Mac OS 8.5 on my machine, but then I heard
through the grape vine that it doesn't properly support hardware keys.
How ridiculous! My shoulders ache, but my dance class was
good and my man made it through his three midterms. We are all just
trying to get by.
The other day I got an e-mail from a fellow Bay Arear who wandered onto
my pages and caught a glimpse of my e- personality. I have always
enjoyed hearing from such chance encounters. With six degrees of
separation, you must greet each new person as a possibility to experience
a new universe.
I have my period, so no hassle-free anniversary or birthday sex.
My poor, poor boyfriend. I appreciate my ability to make myself
smile.
_________________
Sunday 18October98
Our One Year Anniversary
4:35 pm
I am studying for my midterm on Thursday. We took a lengthy drive
to Fry's to purchase terminators, in the hopes that it would make our RAID
arrays work. His is still fried, and I haven't touched mine yet.
He is in a foul mood that it is not working. He has three
midterms tomorrow, so he is in a foul mood anyway.
_________________
Thursday 15October98
10:08 am
Breezing through the week and awaiting the weekend, when we will celebrate
our one year anniversary and his 23rd birthday!
7:37 pm
I am able to relax again. I got back my Film Theory final and did
stunningly well! I was beamy all day and both my dance classes went
well. I know I am going to be sore tomorrow!
I hate the fact that we don't call countries by their own names, but
rather have a separate name in our own language. It is so
ridiculous.
I wonder who decided that time would be shifted by location (time
zones) such that midnight is (almost) always at night, and yet months
aren't shifted. We could have made winter fall in December
everywhere, in which case we would have month zones.
_________________
Wednesday 14October98
1:29 pm
Yesterday's midterms did not go so bad. My
dad cannot locate my W2, so I spent part of the day trying to figure
out how to get another one. I do not understand why our society
requires so many forms. It seems to me that with little effort we
could simplify so much of the bureaucracy. I am going to go switch
my payroll system to direct deposit.
_________________
Tuesday 13October98
9:46 am
At 10 I have my Film Theory midterm. Tomorrow I will be human
again. Next week I have my second Anthro. midterm and then I am all
done! Party! And I'll be 21 in December...
_________________
Monday 12October98
1:33 pm
I have run into the facility to print out my take-home
midterm. Then I am going to dance and afterwards a brief
interview. I need to get some sleep as I was up at 6:45 am.
_________________
Sunday 11October98
2:41 pm
_________________
Saturday 10October98
12:58 pm
I am in the throes of my take-home
midterm.
_________________
Friday 9October98
8:38 pm
Last I think I got the worst night's sleep ever. He and I were
sharing my twin-sized bed here at my mom's house and we were both tossing
and turning all night long. I had a bad dream about being at school at MIT. Today we celebrated my mom's
birthday a week late. We went shopping for clothes, which I can no
longer do without examining the capitalist structure of our society which
convinces us to buy things we don't need. I try to turn these
thoughts off, but they keep swimming around in my head.
_________________
Thursday 8October98
9:33 am
I will be heading to Los Angeles this evening for the weekend.
Though I have a ton of work to do, I think the change of scenery will do
me good. I am looking forward to seeing my
mom.
9:49 pm
I just found a web page of Urban
Legends. Quite interesting!
_________________
Wednesday 7October98
4:56 pm
I had a relaxing morning and lunch with Susie. The Gideons were on
campus handing out the New Testament. For some reason I delight in
telling them I am Jewish when they try to hand me something. At
least they were polite and didn't suggest I become a Jew for Jesus.
I went to my professor's office hours to discuss my Anthro midterm.
He added 6.5 points to the 37 out of 50 which I received, giving me a
strong A at 43.5 points. I cannot believe ha added that much.
When I came home Cindy snapped at me
when she misunderstood something I said. She didn't even apologize.
And then she couldn't figure out why I wasn't super enthusiastic.
When she does that, I just don't want to be around her. Is
that wrong?
_________________
Tuesday 6October98
9:52 am
I had bizarre long dreams of a place which
I have dreamt of before. I enjoyed
getting another e-mail from Sam this morning. I really like him as
a person and I wish him the best. I hope we keep in good touch this
time around. I think since we both have long term significant
others, we can avoid any sort of innuendo weirdness. I hope I get a
chance to see him soon. That will probably be at his wedding.
I am not in touch with any of my other exes. I could call
them (meaning we aren't on bad terms), but I don't want to. I feel so
tired all the time now. Is it sleep? food? dance? How do I
find out? Could it be something emotional? I feel well.
I think I am doing fine.
I am going to head off to class. I hope I survive through the
day. Tonight I get a take-home midterm for my artificial life
class.
1:53 pm
I just got my archaeology midterm back. Cindy and I got the same score, and I'm not
happy with mine. I got above average, but not good enough, so I am
going to go argue with my prof tomorrow afternoon.
_________________
Monday 5October98
11:26 am
Well, as usual, the weekend flew by and I am stuck to struggle to get my
reading done. I will be getting a take-home midterm tomorrow, which
I must complete for next week. And I am going home to LA this
weekend, to celebrate my mom's bday a week
late.
12:03 pm
The next consultant is late. If he doesn't show up, I will probably
work for another hour, but then I have got to get some lunch into me.
8:16 pm
I ran into three people today whom I haven't seen in over a year.
The first was a total delight: a sweet girl named Rebecca who welcomed me
with a warm hug. We chatted and exchanged numbers. The other
two were males whom I did not wish to see, which I am sure I made readily
apparent. One stood much to close to me; I hate to have my personal
space invaded.
A guy whom I do not know at all just came and talked to me for quite a
while. I gather that he works with computers, somewhere in the
building. We don't really interact with any of the permanent staff,
only the student staff, so there are a ton of people I don't know.
It was just the way he addressed me, like we had been talking for hours.
And he asked me if I had ever had a blind student come in to use
the computers. I haven't.
9:32 pm
I got two long e-mails from my ex Sam today.
He was my most serious romance before my
current beau. It was so good to hear from him and I am going to
make a better effort to keep in touch with him. He is in Iowa.
Some voices from the past are a gift, some are a bother.
_________________
Sunday 4October98
4:33 pm
I was so exhausted today, and I am afraid I was a poor hostess to my brother before he left. I can barely move,
and I will try to take a nap. I think I am fighting off illness.
I absolutely do not want to get sick, so I will be loading up on
oranges and garlic.
_________________
Saturday 3October98
My Mom's Birthday
5:31 pm
He and I drove down to Stanford today to see my brother race in an
invitational. It was very exciting and I am so glad we went.
Adam will be spending the night here tonight and will fly back to LA
tomorrow. Tonight we are going to watch The House of Yes.
_________________
Friday 2October98
1:56 pm
I am about to head over to dance class, but I feel quite horrid. I
am having a severe allergic reaction to something or other. It must
be something in the air. After class I am meeting with my teacher
to see what she has to say about my dancing.
3:56 pm
The meeting with my teacher lasted five minutes. So
disappointing... At least I am feeling a bit better. Tonight
I am going to watch The Ice Storm with him.
_________________
Thursday 1October98
6:36 pm
I am looking forward to my brother's visit this weekend. He is
running a race at Stanford, and my sweety and I will be driving down to
see it on Saturday. Speaking of my man, when I came home to change
for class in the middle of the day, my roommate
Cindy informed me that she thought that He and I should get married. What a thing
to think about.
9:21 pm
Well, I managed to clear out my e-mailbox while on shift this evening.
I even checked my school address, which I haven't looked at in
about a year and a half. I guess I am getting to my spring cleaning
a little late. Speaking of which, my room is a total pigsty, and it
almost depresses me to see what a mess has piled up.
9:46 pm
I just had a total shock out of the past. An old dear friend whom I
had lost touch with got back in touch with me. She included an
image of her in the e-mail and she looks startlingly different; I was
literally taken aback. Sometimes life can be so unsettling.

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