Begin at the Bottom

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Saturday
31October98
Halloween

2:01 pm
I have been poking around in the Film Courses offered for next semester.   They keep doing time changes, so I have no idea what overlaps what.   I am again looking at fonts (Mac Font Vault & Medieval Fonts), and enjoying a German Art Nouveau page.

Basil referred to herself as the Lady of Shallot and I just found the poem.

3:33 pm
I have been wanting to make a family tree for quite a while, so I set about to download some software.   There are also such web pages as RootsWeb (self-described as "The Internet's Oldest and Largest Genealogy Site") and Cyndi's List of Genealogy Sites on the Internet which has over 31,300 links.   As one source said:

There are almost as many Web sites and mailing lists devoted to genealogy as there are to Star Trek, plus Usenet newsgroups like <alt.genealogy>.

3:59 pm
Halloween isn't really my holiday.   I went to the Kappa Sigma Blacklight party last night (of course, we arrived just as the fire alarm was going off) but I don't have any plans for this evening.   I told my friend Rebecca I'd drop by her house, but that was about all that I could come up with for the night.   I am at work in my flannel PJs and robe (again!) and I am lovin' it!

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Friday
30October98

5:55 pm
I am sitting in the office in my PJs and robe; we are having a pre-Halloween party, and the computer games and PlayStations are in full effect.

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Thursday
29October98

8:31 pm
Today was a very long day, but thankfully the end is in sight.

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Wednesday
28October98

1:51 pm
My toe is a bit better..   We'll see how it feels after dance class.   I have to decide, in terms of classes, whether to take screenwriting or intro. to digital video.   My life is good.

5:18 pm
I feel like I have all sorts of insightful and interesting observations about the planet, but whenever I sit down at the computer, I can't bring them to mind.   That was one of the main reasons that I started my diary -- to capture my fleeting thoughts and theories.   And yet here I am with nothing of value to write.

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Tuesday
27October98

9:59 am
I hurt my toe pretty badly yesterday and am not sure if I will be able to dance today.   Also, my back is bugging me.   I am not quite sure when I fell apart.

5:55 pm
On my way to campus I passed a location which smelled distinctly of wet dog.   It is much too dark for this hour.   Why do we have day light savings?   It would seem more logical to put your clock forward when the days get shorter, since we are a society which has a night life more than a morning life (ah, the farmers).   I ignored my toe and danced, but it is very unhappy.   I am still trying to figure out what to do my thesis on.   i am highly frustrated because today was my day to register for classes but the listing for film still isn't out.   Why is my department the only one that can't get its act together?

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Monday
26October98

10:20 am
The days are flying.   Tomorrow I register for the next semester of classes -- my last...   I made a new graphic of my name with one of the fonts I downloaded on Saturday.   I am downloading a few of my web projects so that I can make a CD of them as a portfolio.   I also have to get around to revising my résumé one of these days.

My boyfriend has been writing an essay on affirmative action for one of his classes and we have been having ongoing debates about all sorts of issues.   He is half black and half white and people ask him what race he is all the time; sometimes they ask me.   I find that bizarre, being white, no one bothers to ask where I'm from.   I am half Russian, one quarter German, and one-quarter Austrio-Hungarian with a pinch of Irish thrown in by one of my maternal great-great grandmother.

I am now going to go check the progress of my mother's auctions on Ebay.

6:17 pm
I have come into the computer center with Him to help Him finish up and print His affirmative action essay.   I just looking up some info about Ward Connerly on the web.   I hate the feeling of stress and responsibility I have for his schoolwork.   I feel that I shouldn't get so worked up, but I cannot make myself detached.

7:51 pm
I have worked in the computer centers for 3 semesters, but until tonight I had never caught anyone looking at porn on the net.   As soon as he saw that I saw him he immediately scrolled up from the breast picture that was on the screen.   He left a minute later, though I said nothing to him.   The whole situation amused me.   Now I have new gossip.

9:35 pm
A client was totally harassing me, but I threatened to call the campus police.   He played it off like it was nothing but he piped down real quick.   The two other male consultants were quick to ask if I needed help and my boyfriend arrived just a bit ago and offered whatever I need.   It is good to feel so supported.

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Sunday
25October98

1:31 pm
Problems in the computer center, so I dropped by to see if I could help.   I am looking forward to the extra hour of sleep tonight (Day Light Savings).

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Saturday
24October98

2:46 pm
I haven't gotten much done in the computer center as of late.   Hence the short entries.   A lot of things have been breaking and a lot of people have questions.   Today I went searching for (Mac) fonts, and found exactly what I wanted at Larabie Fonts.   I also got some nice (Mac) materials from Font Addict and Font Freak.   Additionally, I found free fonts*, Freebies free fonts, Chankstore Freefonts, Collected Fonts, and other free stuff.   So many free fonts it is difficult to find something really good!

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Friday
23October98

1:15 pm
I found out yesterday that my graduation is May 12th at 2:00 pm.   Unfortunately, that is before finals...

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Thursday
22October98

9:59 am
Yesterday and today are UC-wide walkout days to support affirmative action.   Of course, none of my classes were cancelled, and I have a midterm (my last one!) at 12:30.

7:20 pm
I am lost in a sea of decision making about my future.   In order that I can be proud of myself, I will give myself credit for deciding to graduate next semester and to wait one year before going to grad school.   I am so glad to not be dealing with GREs and applications now.

So, the decision making is in regards to what to take next semester.

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Tuesday
20October98

9:46 am
I am trying to figure out what to take next semester, which involves all sorts of advisor meetings and shufflings.   I am really feeling the length of my four years here and am looking forward to a change.   Is it wrong for me to be so excited about finishing when I am so privileged to be here in the first place?

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Monday
19October98
His 23rd Birthday

11:43 am
The schedule of classes has come out for next semester.   I am actually looking forward to writing a senior thesis.   My roommate and my boyfriend will probably be taking a class together.   That may be bizarre.   I have been attempting to learn After Effects and I have completed a little 16 second movie which I will eventually put on the web...

9:25 pm
I was all excited about putting Mac OS 8.5 on my machine, but then I heard through the grape vine that it doesn't properly support hardware keys.   How ridiculous!   My shoulders ache, but my dance class was good and my man made it through his three midterms.   We are all just trying to get by.

The other day I got an e-mail from a fellow Bay Arear who wandered onto my pages and caught a glimpse of my e- personality.   I have always enjoyed hearing from such chance encounters.   With six degrees of separation, you must greet each new person as a possibility to experience a new universe.

I have my period, so no hassle-free anniversary or birthday sex.   My poor, poor boyfriend.   I appreciate my ability to make myself smile.

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Sunday
18October98
Our One Year Anniversary

4:35 pm
I am studying for my midterm on Thursday.   We took a lengthy drive to Fry's to purchase terminators, in the hopes that it would make our RAID arrays work.   His is still fried, and I haven't touched mine yet.   He is in a foul mood that it is not working.   He has three midterms tomorrow, so he is in a foul mood anyway.

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Thursday
15October98

10:08 am
Breezing through the week and awaiting the weekend, when we will celebrate our one year anniversary and his 23rd birthday!

7:37 pm
I am able to relax again.   I got back my Film Theory final and did stunningly well!   I was beamy all day and both my dance classes went well.   I know I am going to be sore tomorrow!

I hate the fact that we don't call countries by their own names, but rather have a separate name in our own language.   It is so ridiculous.

I wonder who decided that time would be shifted by location (time zones) such that midnight is (almost) always at night, and yet months aren't shifted.   We could have made winter fall in December everywhere, in which case we would have month zones.

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Wednesday
14October98

1:29 pm
Yesterday's midterms did not go so bad.   My dad cannot locate my W2, so I spent part of the day trying to figure out how to get another one.   I do not understand why our society requires so many forms.   It seems to me that with little effort we could simplify so much of the bureaucracy.   I am going to go switch my payroll system to direct deposit.

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Tuesday
13October98

9:46 am
At 10 I have my Film Theory midterm.   Tomorrow I will be human again.   Next week I have my second Anthro. midterm and then I am all done!   Party!   And I'll be 21 in December...

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Monday
12October98

1:33 pm
I have run into the facility to print out my take-home midterm.   Then I am going to dance and afterwards a brief interview.   I need to get some sleep as I was up at 6:45 am.

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Sunday
11October98

2:41 pm

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Saturday
10October98

12:58 pm
I am in the throes of my take-home midterm.

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Friday
9October98

8:38 pm
Last I think I got the worst night's sleep ever.   He and I were sharing my twin-sized bed here at my mom's house and we were both tossing and turning all night long.   I had a bad dream about being at school at MIT.   Today we celebrated my mom's birthday a week late.   We went shopping for clothes, which I can no longer do without examining the capitalist structure of our society which convinces us to buy things we don't need.   I try to turn these thoughts off, but they keep swimming around in my head.

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Thursday
8October98

9:33 am
I will be heading to Los Angeles this evening for the weekend.   Though I have a ton of work to do, I think the change of scenery will do me good.   I am looking forward to seeing my mom.

9:49 pm
I just found a web page of Urban Legends.   Quite interesting!

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Wednesday
7October98

4:56 pm
I had a relaxing morning and lunch with Susie.   The Gideons were on campus handing out the New Testament.   For some reason I delight in telling them I am Jewish when they try to hand me something.   At least they were polite and didn't suggest I become a Jew for Jesus.   I went to my professor's office hours to discuss my Anthro midterm.   He added 6.5 points to the 37 out of 50 which I received, giving me a strong A at 43.5 points.   I cannot believe ha added that much.   When I came home Cindy snapped at me when she misunderstood something I said.   She didn't even apologize.   And then she couldn't figure out why I wasn't super enthusiastic.   When she does that, I just don't want to be around her.   Is that wrong?

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Tuesday
6October98

9:52 am
I had bizarre long dreams of a place which I have dreamt of before.   I enjoyed getting another e-mail from Sam this morning.   I really like him as a person and I wish him the best.   I hope we keep in good touch this time around.   I think since we both have long term significant others, we can avoid any sort of innuendo weirdness.   I hope I get a chance to see him soon.   That will probably be at his wedding.   I am not in touch with any of my other exes.   I could call them (meaning we aren't on bad terms), but I don't want to.

I feel so tired all the time now.   Is it sleep? food? dance?   How do I find out?   Could it be something emotional?   I feel well.   I think I am doing fine.

I am going to head off to class.   I hope I survive through the day.   Tonight I get a take-home midterm for my artificial life class.

1:53 pm
I just got my archaeology midterm back.   Cindy and I got the same score, and I'm not happy with mine.   I got above average, but not good enough, so I am going to go argue with my prof tomorrow afternoon.

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Monday
5October98

11:26 am
Well, as usual, the weekend flew by and I am stuck to struggle to get my reading done.   I will be getting a take-home midterm tomorrow, which I must complete for next week.   And I am going home to LA this weekend, to celebrate my mom's bday a week late.

12:03 pm
The next consultant is late.   If he doesn't show up, I will probably work for another hour, but then I have got to get some lunch into me.

8:16 pm
I ran into three people today whom I haven't seen in over a year.   The first was a total delight: a sweet girl named Rebecca who welcomed me with a warm hug.   We chatted and exchanged numbers.   The other two were males whom I did not wish to see, which I am sure I made readily apparent.   One stood much to close to me; I hate to have my personal space invaded.

A guy whom I do not know at all just came and talked to me for quite a while.   I gather that he works with computers, somewhere in the building.   We don't really interact with any of the permanent staff, only the student staff, so there are a ton of people I don't know.   It was just the way he addressed me, like we had been talking for hours.   And he asked me if I had ever had a blind student come in to use the computers.   I haven't.

9:32 pm
I got two long e-mails from my ex Sam today.   He was my most serious romance before my current beau.   It was so good to hear from him and I am going to make a better effort to keep in touch with him.   He is in Iowa.   Some voices from the past are a gift, some are a bother.

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Sunday
4October98

4:33 pm
I was so exhausted today, and I am afraid I was a poor hostess to my brother before he left.   I can barely move, and I will try to take a nap.   I think I am fighting off illness.   I absolutely do not want to get sick, so I will be loading up on oranges and garlic.

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Saturday
3October98
My Mom's Birthday

5:31 pm
He and I drove down to Stanford today to see my brother race in an invitational.   It was very exciting and I am so glad we went.   Adam will be spending the night here tonight and will fly back to LA tomorrow.   Tonight we are going to watch The House of Yes.

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Friday
2October98

1:56 pm
I am about to head over to dance class, but I feel quite horrid.   I am having a severe allergic reaction to something or other.   It must be something in the air.   After class I am meeting with my teacher to see what she has to say about my dancing.

3:56 pm
The meeting with my teacher lasted five minutes.   So disappointing...   At least I am feeling a bit better.   Tonight I am going to watch The Ice Storm with him.

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Thursday
1October98

6:36 pm
I am looking forward to my brother's visit this weekend.   He is running a race at Stanford, and my sweety and I will be driving down to see it on Saturday.   Speaking of my man, when I came home to change for class in the middle of the day, my roommate Cindy informed me that she thought that He and I should get married.   What a thing to think about.

9:21 pm
Well, I managed to clear out my e-mailbox while on shift this evening.   I even checked my school address, which I haven't looked at in about a year and a half.   I guess I am getting to my spring cleaning a little late.   Speaking of which, my room is a total pigsty, and it almost depresses me to see what a mess has piled up.

9:46 pm
I just had a total shock out of the past.   An old dear friend whom I had lost touch with got back in touch with me.   She included an image of her in the e-mail and she looks startlingly different; I was literally taken aback.   Sometimes life can be so unsettling.