Bug
9 May 1997:I once met a boy, whom I called Bug. This was because he was six foot two and he slept in fetal position. I once took a picture of him doing exactly that, and I said that he was curled up like a bug. After that, the name stuck.
I liked him because he put up with me. I have many shifting moods, and he survived through them all. He let me wirte him incessant letters and in general, just be weird. We had an amazing time at the beach in LA, where we fed each other grapes and played with mass amounts of seaweed.
I fell in love with him, but he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend, whom he is now back together with. My Bug consumed a year of my life, and now we barely talk. The world works in mysterious ways. We still have outstanding plans to go to Tahiti when we are 24.
The question is, why do I have this desire to write about him on the web. I want to type up my diaries and put them out here for everyone to read. Does making your life public exorcize your demons? I have tried it and I don't think so. I tell everyone everything there is to know about me, and yet my past still haunts me.
6 October 1997: That was a long time ago. Bug and I are now buds, and I actually have a diary on the web. I do believe that publicizing information about your past depowers it. That is why I am an open book.
10 September 1999: Well, this page certainly has been neglected, especailly since it was started before my diary. Let me give a breif update, but first, I must explain a bit. Sam, aka Bug, and I dated the second semester of our freshman year at Berkeley. We were sort of on and off for the summer after that first year. Then he went back to his home in Chicago, and didn't return to California. After one semester, I went to visit him for a week, and stayed with him during the 1996-1997 new year. That was that for a long time, except for the occasional e-mail. Then, during my drive across the country, I got a chance to spend one evening with Sam. It was so wonderful, and I wish it could have gone on forever. He is officially marrying his high school sweetheart -- the ring is bought and the wedding is slated for April 2000. We rehashed old times, and chatted about our former plans to go to Tahiti when I am 22 and he is 24. And that is that, once again. We may slip into obscurity in each other's lives for another two and a half years, or we may remain in close contact in the coming years. I only hope that I don't upset his fiancée with my adoration of him...
16 September 1999:Sam Bug has informed me that he didn't buy the ring, he just asked, so my above entry stands corrected. In correleation with me calling him bug, he called me bird, though not with the same consistancy with which I used my nickname for him. More specifically, he often called me dodo bird (mostly to see how I would pretend to be mad). Last night he e-mailed me this picture of the extinct dodo.
15 April 2002: Sam and his high-school sweetheart broke up (after he cheated on her!). He moved to Texas. I visited Texas with the express intent of seeing him (and introducing him to my boyfriend of 4+ years) but Sam did not make himself available. He wasn't appologetic about it. I wasn't pleased, so my efforts to stay in touch have fizzled. Such is my life...
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